On my own
Chorus:
Like, who's there when I need a shoulder to lean on?
I hope you're here when I need the demons to be gone
And it's not fair that I had to fight em all on my own (x2)
Verse:
Bout to finally move out of my mama house
Figuring all it out, so I ain’t stalling out
Most friends ain’t calling now, most ends ain’t followed now
They think it’s the end of the road
The budget ends here, the bills pile up
Networking’s going slow, you’d think it was dial up
Ain’t got the money nor the energy to get the stylе up
No connections, I can’t talk to higher ups
I’m just wandering
Trying sounds, nеw tape, new mic, new shake
New life, new shape, no flights today
Showlight or streetlight- one day, they’ll all fade
Everybody gonna die, that’s the only “always”
Working my ass off all day at the pizza shop
Giving them a piece of me, my peace achieved by meeting needs
I’m eating and I’m breathing, but I’m contorting and overwrought
I’m bored with what I’ve got, I’m morbid and I’m hot
I’m red faced, ten days from the finish line
I act livid, in reality, I live a lie
I’m a standup guy, they say
Bad traits don’t apply, they say
I’m self loathing, misogynistic
Simplistic in topics, inches away
From just cocking hinges of steel
And just popping bitches
If God is my only witness
He’s got to be sick of this shit
I’m lost in a cowards wishlist
I’m caught, and my cause is listless
Still wrought with intrusive thoughts
And the cost of that shit is perspective
My friends say I’m too judgemental, I say that I’m being careful
Aware of what a human mind is capable of
Mentally impaired, I’m scared of love
It brought my highest highs, it also brought my lowest lows
It improved life, it also caused an overload
I don’t think clearly when infatuated
I ain’t thought clearly since I graduated
I’m either a god or I’m worth fucking nothing
Becoming a stuttering shell, they forget I rapped, so I’m rusted
I smell bad, can’t even bring myself to brush my teeth
Cuz that requires self control to stand up and love me
Love me enough to take care of myself
Love me enough to be fair to myself
Love me enough, I just stare at myself
When I look into the mirror, I embarrass myself
Violent thoughts that my climate brought
I still think about killing him sometimes
Fantasize about just how I would go through with it
It’s deeper every time, that’s how I know I’m fucking losing it
Abusing myself- physically, mentally, emotionally
A void of hope washed over me, I cloak myself in broken needs
And go to sleep
I don’t fix any of my problems
Cuz that would require me to move from the spot on the floor
I have put myself in
Finally moved outta my mama house
No one left around me to talk in the quiet of the night
Chorus:
Like, who's there when I need a shoulder to lean on?
I hope you're here when I need the demons to be gone
And it's not fair that I had to fight em all on my own (x2)