& i

Laying here thinking about the people that I miss
Laying here thinking how it all went to shit
Praying to a god who didn't grant me a wish
That overdose should've had me laying in a ditch
But I'm not cause I'm here, readjusting from the fallout
My legs of confidence are gone, guess I got to crawl out
I want a bad bitch so I can put her ass in timeout
I mean it can't hurt to dream
Full of pain and I
Yeah, and I've been thinking about my pops
Thinking about that fateful night when mama had to call the cops
Yeah, and I've been thinking how my daddy turned into an op
Can't forget the day when I manifested suicidal thoughts
Nonstop
Yeah I got a genre but that shit ain't no pain rap
Yeah I got a scar where I sliced with the blade at
I wish I could rewind all the time, let's play it back
Bashing me in the street, why the fuck is he saying that?
I think I know the answer cause he said he was down for me
Ironic don't you think? cause currently he is downing me
Surrounded by people who's covered in the fake energy
I listen to my sisters tell me of all their enemies
I wish I had an enemy who appeared to me physically
I'm tired of my demons that attack me internally
My mama said to me, "I can't sleep, boy you worry me"
I hate to see her cry, being alive's no concern to me
At all
Raise walls
Hide the pain from the cause
I'm worshipping my death as if it were for applause
Take a bite out my sanity like the shark from jaws
Coughing insecurity, just give me some halls
Cough drops
Coin toss
God, make my heart stop
I wish I had the courage to forgive myself for my loss
I wish I could get rid of all my failures with some dental floss
I wish I wasn't gullible, I'm always double-crossed
I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired for real
I said it three times and they seem to ignore me still
Sitting outside my window seal
I see the wooden coffin as I close my eyes
Yeah, and I've been thinking about my pops
Thinking about that fateful night when mama had to call the cops
Yeah, and I've been thinking how my daddy turned into an op
Can't forget the day when I manifested suicidal thoughts, nonstop
Laying here thinking about the people that I miss
Laying here thinking how it all went to shit
Praying to a god who didn't grant me a wish
That overdose should've had me laying in a ditch
But I'm not cause I'm here, readjusting from the fallout
My legs of confidence are gone, guess I got to crawl out
I want a bad bitch so I can put her ass in timeout
I mean it can't hurt to dream
Full of pain and I