My Phone

Tatenda Ndlovu

Reach for my phone, should I text or should I call?
Should I sleep it off? Should I just forget it all?
I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do
But I'm staring at a blank phone thinking about you

I woke up so drunk.
Still faded. So what?
Phone buzzed. I don’t remember what happened last night.
But it’s 3a.m. and we at it again.
We might be better as friends.
But do I want it to end? I don’t know, like,
Where do my senses turn senseless and where do my feelings begin?
I don’t know anything, I need the gin. I might as well join the room as it spins.
It feels like a merry go-round. Wish I had Mary around. I should have let it go down.
But look at me now! But really, like, look at me now!
We do this way too often. It’s a wonder how we never get too lost in
Translation. Feel like I’m being way too honest. Is there a meaning beyond this?
'Cause we walk and we talk but we never exercising caution.
We don’t have too many options that’ll keep us from feeling too boxed in.
Now I'm tossing and I'm turning, my head's heavy and I'm burning.
This lesson that I'm learning ain't worth it, I don’t deserve this.
I woke up feeling like shit today. Don't even know how to reply.
But if we can't see eye-to-eye, and believe me I tried, then fuck it, I reach for my phone...

Reach for my phone, should I text or should I call?
Should I sleep it off? Should I just forget it all?
I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do
But I'm staring at a blank phone thinking about you

I don’t get it. You say that you love me but won’t let it go,
And I go with it. Definitely should’ve known we did it the wrong way.
I regret it. We probably would’ve ended up in the same place.
But don’t sweat it. To your credit, the reasons you do this beyond me.
And honestly, I’m over it. I’m 0 for 6. I’m done with “us”. I’m over this.
I’m hoping it’s a weight I never have shoulder again 'cause it’s sobering.
I'm tired of hoping you would notice it. I'm sick and tired of the hopelessness.
'Cause, nowadays, everything that you say leaves me tired. I'm sick and tired of it.
See I’m tired of the eye-to-eye shit,
The “you need to believe that I tried” shit,
This “I keep re-reading your messages but honestly can’t reply” shit
You don't understand. This wasn't part of the plan.
You ruined my""you and I"", this is do or die. I’m reviewing the picture just wondering why
You've stepped out of frame. But I need you to see:
You've painted a portion of more than the man that I want or I need you to be.
You sending me messages asking when I'm coming home, 'cause you're drunk and alone.
But it's 3 in the fucking morning so you know I'm switching off when I reach for my phone...

Reach for my phone, should I text or should I call?
Should I sleep it off? Should I just forget it all?
I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do
But I'm staring at a blank phone thinking about you

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The song “My Phone” by X was composed by Tatenda Ndlovu.

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