​escape

It's getting hard to tell myself
That I am not just someone else
The person that I used to be
Is getting hard to reconcile with me
I know I've come so far
And stayed alive for so long
But the vestigial parts of my mind
Still visit me from time to time

(You can't escape. You can't do anything about it.)

Never far from this
The tightness in my stomach and my chest

I hold myself together day-to-day
And hope for something that will
Guarantee my next breath
And the one after and maybe leave me
Stronger than this broken creature
Scrawling out impenetrable sentences
That hide the truth of everything
That I have been through
Parasitic thoughts reduce my agency to nothing
Not this again I just got over the last time

Never far from this
The tightness in my stomach and my chest
This is all I have left
The tightness in my stomach and my chest