Hot Water Burn Baby

Adam R Sandler, Allen S. Covert

Father: Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the hospital with your new baby sister.
Ryan : baby sister
Father: That's right, baby sister.
Ryan : baby sister
Father: So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister.
Ryan : safety rules
Father: Okay, rule number one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby.
Ryan : wash hands
Father: Do you know why?
Ryan : no
Father: Well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick.
Ryan : germs make baby sick
Father: That's right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick.
Ryan : germs make the baby sick
Father: Okay, rule number two.
Ryan : more rules
Father: Don't feed the baby anything.
Ryan : don't feed the baby.
Father: That's right.
Ryan : why?
Father: Well, because the baby needs to eat special baby food.
Ryan : why?
Father: Oh...well, other food is bad for the baby.
Ryan : other food bad for the baby
Father: That's right, good. Now, rule number three.
Ryan : more rules
Father: Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : water bad for the baby
Father: Well, not all water, just hot water,
Ryan : yes
Father: Cause hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : I don't understand, daddy
Father: Okay, see this glass of water that I'm drinking?
Ryan : yes
Father: Well, this water is okay for the baby.
Ryan : yes
Father: Here, touch the glass.
Ryan : yes
Father: See, it's nice and cool.
Ryan : yes
Father: Now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot water can burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn baby?
Father: Yes, hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn baby
Father: Yes, yes, hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn your baby
Father: Yes.
Ryan : baby can't go in swimming pool?
Father: Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. Swimming pool water is cool.
Ryan : yes
Father: That's alright.
Ryan : yes
Father: But the jacuzzi is bad because that water is hot and hot water will burn the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn the baby
Father: Yes.
Ryan : hot water burn the baby
Father: Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that near the baby?
Ryan : yea, baby like tea
Father: No Ryan, uh, I don't think you get it yet.
Ryan : baby no like tea?
Father: Well, I'm sure the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with?
Ryan : ...hot water
Father: Right, and what did we say about hot water?
Ryan : ...oh, hot water burn baby
Father: Yes, hot water burn baby!
Ryan : hot water burn baby!
Father: That's right so no tea near the baby.
Ryan : hot water burn baby
Father: Yes.
Ryan : baby no take bath?
Father: No, bath water is warm. Warm is okay.
Ryan : yes
Father: Hot is bad.
Ryan : yes...hot water burn baby
Father: Yes, hot water burn baby.
Ryan : hot water burn baby
Father: I think you're gettin' it!
Ryan : hot water burn baby
Father: That's right, Ryan.
Ryan : hot water burn baby
Father: NOW DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT!
Narrator: 30 year later!
Wife : Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out there?
Ryan : Just watchin' the discovery channel.
Wife : Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about five minutes.
Ryan : Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled)
Wife : Okay, honey!
Ryan : Yeah.
TV : The villagers of Pasquan
Ryan : Pasquan
TV : have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants into the community.
Ryan : (garbled)
TV : Unfortunately, the death rate from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
Ryan : My God.
TV : That explains the Pasquan's low population.
Ryan : Yeah, it does.
TV : On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,...
Ryan : Deerskin.
TV : ...which have been passed along from generation to generation.
Ryan : That's nice.
TV : The entire Pasquan population then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara.
Ryan : ya-yara
TV : Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, hand to hand, around the circle...
Ryan : Wow.
TV : ...four times.
Ryan : Four times.
TV : Once for the sun,...
Ryan : Hmm.
TV : ...once for the moon,...
Ryan : The moon.
TV : ...once for the earth,...
Ryan : The earth.
TV : ...and once for the wind.
Ryan : The wind, too.
TV : When the babies arrive back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs...
Ryan : What?
TV : ...where the ceremonial purification will be completed.
Ryan : What are you saying here?
TV : As we watch, the mothers take their progeny out of the deerskin shells...
Ryan : No.
TV : ...and dunk them into the steaming water.
Ryan : No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot water burn baby!
Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby.
Ryan : Hot water burn baby!
Wife : Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you okay?
Ryan : Hot water burn baby!
Father: Hot water burn most definitely burn baby.
Ryan : Hot water burn baby!
Father: That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby!
Ryan : Hot water burn baby!
Father: You are a bitch, Ryan!
Ryan : Hot water burn baby!
Wife : Ryan, are you alright?
Father: Hot water burn the baby!
Ryan : Hot water burn baby!
Wife : Ryan!
Father: What are you gonna do, whore?
Wife : Ryan!
Ryan : Hot water burn baby!
Father: Bitch!
Wife : Ryan! What's going on out there?
Ryan : Hot water burn baby!
Father: Whore!
Wife : Who are you talking to?
Father: Bitch!
Ryan : I'm talking to the man!
Father: Whore!
Ryan : Hot water burn baby!
Wife : Ryan!
Father: Bitch! Ryan is a whore!

Trivia about the song Hot Water Burn Baby by Adam Sandler

When was the song “Hot Water Burn Baby” released by Adam Sandler?
The song Hot Water Burn Baby was released in 1999, on the album “Stan and Judy's Kid”.
Who composed the song “Hot Water Burn Baby” by Adam Sandler?
The song “Hot Water Burn Baby” by Adam Sandler was composed by Adam R Sandler, Allen S. Covert.

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