Mess

Why do you love me?
What is it about me that makes you stay?
What's the basis of our relationship?
Because, whenever we finally get a chance to see one another
You always take the opportunity to point out my mistakes or how little we see each other

Why is this not about us anymore?
Why don't we have meaningful conversations?
Why don't you talk to me?
Do you care about this relationship?
Are you trying at all?
Because to me, you just seem to go with what happens regardless and participate whether you want to or not

I get that you just want to see me
But if it only ends in a point of argument later then what's the point
I don't know you anymore because you're pushing me away
Why do I not get a choice in how I live my life?
Why is it the position of others to dictate my life?

I realise this is my fault for wanting to please everyone but why do I not get a choice?
Am I just an instrument to express your love with?
Because you don't seem to care about how I actually feel
You don't ask about me, how I'm doing...
You barely even recognise when I'm upset

But it's apparent that I have a responsibility to go out of my way for you and if I ask anything of you
Either it's on your terms or there is protest
So do you love me?
I'd like to know
I've been sitting here just while my mind goes insane

You'll never understand me
I thought you would, after this long
I hope you never read this
I know we'll never talk about it
I'll just suffer in silence
You wouldn't care anyway
Give me a reason to stay