Using Cocaine

My mother and I were just disconnected, man
You know, she gave us birthdays and she gave us holidays
But she had to work hard
And I think that she
You know
I don't know I don't know if she had the tools, really
To make me feel loved
I don't know if she had the tools, really
To make me feel loved
So anyhow
I got emancipated at 14
I ended up living with a family for the first time
I had my own room
And I had peace
I had some peace in my life
I mean just, like, moments
Where I just felt like I could rеlax a little bit
But this thing inside of me
Of not feeling okay
Was still vеry much there
You know
I developed issues with women
Where I had a really tough time relating to women
And, and trusting women
And feeling okay
And being able to commit to relationships
And at some point

[Pre-Chorus]
You know, life went on things were going okay
But I started using cocaine
Using, using cocaine a little bit

And I liked cocaine
Because I would get it and do it by myself
At home
At night (at night)
And it just made me feel good
And I didn't have to be around other people
I don't know
It just made me feel something
It made me feel something
And for so long
Inside of myself
I'd had so many years, really
Of creating my own feelings on the outside of me
But not really having them inside of me
You know, like
I just didn't have feelings
Inside
Like, I just
If I wanted to feel something
I had to think it up and then act it out
And display it as I'd seen it displayed
In, like, television
Or movies
Or from others
But, the inside of me
There wasn't a lot going on

[Chorus]
Life went on things were going okay
But I started using cocaine
Using, using cocaine a little bit
You know, life went on things were going okay
But I started using cocaine
Using, using cocaine a little bit

[Outro]
Using cocaine, using cocaine
Using, using cocaine
Using cocaine a little bit
Using cocaine, using cocaine
Using cocaine, using cocaine
Use, using cocaine
Using cocaine
Use, using cocaine
Using cocaine