A Sojourn Round Europe, Pt. 1 (Live)

[Spoken intro]
And you know ahm that every word that is true, it’s absolutely true
That really did exist if you,if you go to Youtube you put in: Alan Cumming condom you..
Bollocks, maybe you shouldn't do that, (laughter) that might be (laughs) hahaha
Make your, make search the most specific (laughter)
But it really did happen…. (laughter)
Well that’s [?] things up (laughter)
Tonight ladies and gentlemen, the next three songs we’re going to go on a little tour of Europe
A sojourn if you will
Three countries, we’ll gonna start in my homeland Scotland
And we’re going to Glasgow ah and Glasgow’s, ah a city i love very very dearly
It’s not where i’m from but it’s where I went to drama school and it’s where I became a man, if you will. Many times (laughter) and... ahm
This song is a song that I had many many years ago
Written by this amazing person called Michael Mara
It’s Called Mother Glasgow and the thing is ah it’s quite a complicated Scottish song
It has got lots of scottish idioms in it, a-lot of kind of things that Glasgow lore
So I thought I’d do a little cheat sheet version for you first
Just to get a hang of it, so when I sing it properly i get the full whammy
Right? So here we go

[Verse 1]
In the Second City of the Empire
So when Britain had an empire
London was the first city Glasgow was the second
Mother Glasgow [?]
Mother Glasgow matriarchal figure out just like Lady Liberty
Bairns… A Scottish word for children
Trying hard to feed her little starlings
Unconsciously she clips their little wings
She’s a parent she fucks up (laughter)
Mother Glasgow[?] is perpetual
Nestling the [?]
Oh so in Glasgow there is a big sectarian divide between catholic and protestants
So a [?] is a is a protestant [?] is a catholic and Mother Glasgow gets them all together
Just like Oprah.It makes them all happy (laughter)
I dreamt that you could [?] with some mango [?]
Scotch [?] seed mango ,the peaches in the Glasgow
To try to catch a fish that couldn’t swim
Oh! So in the studio of Glasgow is that it was this place where there was a fish that couldn’t swim
And a bird that couldn’t fly a tree that couldn’t grow
And a bell that wouldn’t ring
A name said mango came along
And also in an Oprah like way, Glasgow’s a big connection to Oprah
Made them all happen

[Verse 2]
Second verse
A mango [?] starlings
Father Glasgow knows he charges well
Father Glasgow father Glasgow
Mother Glasgow’s plus 1
Ah he want to make his way up into heaven
By waltzing all his charges into hell
Mother Glasgow’s sucker is perpetual
[?] [?] try to catch a fish that couldn't swim
You got it?
Yes (laughter)