That Old Back Scratcher

That old back scratcher has me in its spell,
That old back scratcher like the Chinese sell
Your plastic fingers up and down my spine,
The same old itchcraft when your touch meets mine
You tame that tingle when I'm all alone;
For I am single, so, to itch his own

So down and down you go,
Around and around and around you go
Scratching my unreachable zone

I should throw you away,
But I never do
I must give in to itchy skin
A skin with such a burning desire
When I'm scratching low,
The itching gets higher

Oh, you're the scrubber that placated me,
That chased each place that irritated me
And then, last night, you broke my heart
Because I sat down on you,
Two hundred pounds on you,
Then, snap, crack,
Everything just went black
My wonderful old back scratcher fell apart

Yes, you broke in half,
And now you're too short
I tried Scotch tape as a last resort
But with Scotch tape it wasn't the same
The thrill that was wild is suddenly tame

But, Old Man Sorrow will not get me down
I leave tomorrow night for Chinatown
For I must follow Heaven's plan
Around and around I'll go,
Through Chinatown I'll go,
Hoping to find another one just like you,
An old Chinese back scratcher made in Japan!