Now

As I walk this hall alone I wonder
exactly why it is I'm leaving
when there's nothing there for me to return to
other than blind faith
with a lack of believing
and not to say that I have nothing
I have everything and I am grateful
but my head is trying to tell me something
in this state of mind I feel so hateful

and I don't understand
and I'm not going to try to because

now that I've seen it
I couldn't walk away no
even if I wanted to, yes
now that I've seen it
even though I'm leaving now
every bit of me is still there

well I am filled with a quiet resolution
and questions posed without solution
and in my realm of indecision
finally I feel as though I can see something
and though this beacons ever flashing
Ii can't revisit without rehashing
when I'm stuck in where I created fear
I can not fix myself from here

and I'm starting to understand
at least in this state I believe something because

now that I've seen it
I couldn't walk away no
even if I wanted to, yes
now that I've seen it
even though I'm leaving now
every bit of me is still there

the amount of times
I've seen the edge
of my own head
is unrelenting
the floor falls out
and I am left with
thoughts that move
without consenting
when all I want is peace
and all I want to believe in
is knowing without seeing
and wanting without fear

now that I've seen it
I couldn't walk away no
even if I wanted to, yes
now that I've seen it
even though I'm leaving now
every bit of me is still there