Secret Santa

[Intro]
Maya Rudolph: Hey, Ana! Where've you been, girl? I didn't see you at the holiday office party
Ana Gasteyer: Oh, Maya, I'm so glad you called! I need a friend to lean on. I think I got woke this weekend!
Rudolph: Spill the beans!

[Verse 1]
Call me a banana, but I went down to Havana
To buy my Secret Santa a present today
But I slipped on a banana, woke up in a cabana
Sippin' rum and orange Fanta, so I think that I'll stay

My Secret Santa's rich and handsome
He drives a fancy car
I knew just what to get him
He loves a fat cigar

He finds my stories silly
He says I laugh too loud
But now I see how life can be
I'm brassy and sassy and proud!

So tell my Secret Santa
I'm stayin' in Havana
Don't want his big banana
And his gift will be late

[Interlude]
Rudolph: So, let me get this straight. You flew down to Havana to buy that jerk a gift for the holiday office party, then you slipped on a banana, cracked your head on the sidewalk, and woke up in a cabana, and now you're spiritually, sexually, and politically enlightened?
Gasteyer: Yes!
Rudolph: Terrific!

[Verse 2]
I wanted to impress him
That's why I flew so far
He likes me calm, polite, and quiet
Pero quiero bailar y cantar

So suck it, Secret Santa
I'm stayin' in Havana
Don't want his big banana
He's a terrible lay

[Bridge]
All of my friends will sing Hallelujah Hosana
Shout from the rooftops, skip 'round the piano
How many times did I say that it's Ana, not Ana?
I'm kickin' his ass all the way to Montana
You don't have to worry 'cause we'll keep your secret, Santa
Ain't nobody care about your banana in Havana
See you later, Secret Santa
Happy holidays!