The Good Fight

I've been trying hard to find a piece of mind
Not trying hard enough is what I seem to find
I don't know if I'mma really be alright
I guess soon or later I'mma seize the fight
The good fight
I've been running from the time I wonder why
I'm afraid to look some people in the eyes
I'm a walking armageddon I despise
I'm asleep when all my nightmares come to life

No, I really mean it
Think I wanna be alone all my life like planet Venus
I wanna be condoned for the bullshit that I be with
I'm tryna understand myself a little in my region
I hope you understand that it's not a party
I don't need no pity I just wanna say sorry
I don't like the city but I know you're the biggest part of it
This place is kind of pretty when you know you getting to start again

Beginning out the pain is numbing
The sun was out I couldn't feel that thing for nothing
My jacket under all your coats ain't worth the cover
But I don't mind I'd rather have you over me not suffer
Your words expel a gust up in the wind of winter summer
That cold it bites my skin exposed to that big sky we're under
I'm tryna paint a picture but I don't know how
I wonder "What in the world do beings watching over think and wonder?"
That thought is loud as thunder

The packed out buildings will disintegrate and smoke will hover
The black inside my brain will dissipates in darker colors
The green inside my heart will mitigate and turn to umber
Still they look at my mind just like a dinner plate I'm in the oven
Some things don't change I say out loud as I try not to stutter
On the bitterly cold that we had stood together and confronted
"Some things will change I know", I iterate off this snowy tundra
This world has better views than here
But I just feel reluctant to leave

What's next for me?