I Work in a Saloon
Aidan Moffat, Malcolm Middleton
I work in a saloon,
Pulling shit pints for shit wages.
It's a busy night tonight
And the bar is full
Of all the girls I've ever shagged,
Or tampered with, or kissed,
Or even just fancied.
A pub full of conquests, knockbacks.
Between the laughter I can hear my name and then,
Through the gap between the swing doors and floor,
I see your feet.
You push open the doors and walk in and
As always all heads turn.
And the room becomes silent,
except for the sound of your DM's scuffing on the floor.
You stroll through the jealous gazes straight to the bar,
Smile, and ask me for some exotic cocktail
But I don't know how to make it.
So you just shrug, smile again, turn around and leave.
I pull another pint.