Happy Birthday (My Olde Friend)

Grab the chair, boys
We got another bucket-kicker!

Happy birthday, my old friend
It seems this horror show will never end
Any moment's your last breath
Here is to another day closer to death

The cake is on the table
And it is awfully bright
'Cause there's so many candles on top
And you are so decrepit your chest so tight
When you blow them out your
Lungs are gonna pop
You cannot complain each time you feel a pain
Though you have arthritis and gout
'Cause when you start kvetching
All your teeth fall out

So have another cigarette have another beer
Raise your glass to one more year (Gone)

Happy birthday, my old friend
It seems this horror show will never end
Any moment's your last breath
Here is to another day closer to death

Your skin is so worn out and old
All over your body, it's saggin'
Especially loose is your old caboose
You're draggin' it behind you in a wagon!
Well you're an alcoholic and
You're blind and deaf
And you have Alzheimer's, I bet
You're too old to remember
But you're too drunk to forget

So have another cigarette have another beer
Raise your glass to one more year (Gone)

Happy birthday, my old friend
It seems this horror show will never end
Any moment's your last breath
Here is to another day closer to death

You're so old, you smell like dust
And now your bones begin to rust
You see that face? It's full of wrinkles!

So have another cigarette have another beer
Raise that chair to one more year (Raise)

Happy birthday, my old friend
It seems this horror show will never end
Any moment's your last breath
Here is to another day closer to death

Happy birthday, my old friend
It seems this horror show will never end
Any moment's your last breath
Here is to another day closer
To your sweet death