Hypothesis 1 (Creationism)

Darwinism is just preposterous
Richard Dawkins and the rest of his apocalyptic posse
Just use biology to advance their hateful atheist doctrines
But the bible teaches us that human nature is fallen
Because we fell into temptation with original sin
That’s why rap music is all about “bitches and rims”
Rappers are just giving in to their God-given
Sensual whims, and the Devil is watching with a wicked grin
Evolution isn’t just a failed theory with a lack of proof
It’s also a direct attack on moral absolutes
Without the bible you can’t even say Hitler was bad for the Jews
So if you’re a fan of Darwin, you’re a fan of the Nazis too
At best, evolution is just a useful metaphor
For man’s God-given ability to change and choose a better course
So don’t even bother showing me the bones of a stegosaurus
It probably died in the flood, which the fossil record supports