Today

Today I found a thousand steaming
Hot dogs in my bathtub
Goat's head nailed to my door
There was voices chanting in the toaster oven
And I drove to work from the
Back seat of my car at work
The boss was giving away tickets
To his own hanging
People are smoking joints out of
Their noses at their desks
The typewriter was lonely
Writing love letters
And the telephones are answering themselves
Whooo

And the supermarket was having a free sale
And the turkeys were climbing
Out of their packaging
And dancing in the aisles
With friendly midgets
As watermelons exploded with delight
Santa Claus ran naked through the city
With his fangs on fire
Taco truck was being driven
By a hyperventilating cactus
A mariachi band was playing water
Polo with a prosthetic head
And the furniture was sitting
On all the people
And the plates were eating all the food
Whoo yea