Misery

It keeps tryna get a hold of me, giving me this misery that's killing me
I am looking out the window seat tryna keep a hold of things before I no longer breath

More days go by and it keeps getting worse, I'm tryna form words to explain the thirst
Gotta lie and act like I took a sip, my identity is on the line but I'll make it work
It starts to burn in my mind that i was raised in church so i was taught to believe that prayer works
So why am I not asking to take the hurt and this addiction to the flesh that don't make me feel worth
A cent while lying to myself I'll turn and make a dent in the curse that causes me to vent
I've slept with her too many times it wasn't my intent to make it frequent
And by the looks of it I've made mess
Count the sins we've made then multiply it by 7, it's a cringe when i find out i can still repent this
We're relentless cuz we don't care about our sentence
Then we beg for forgiveness so we give repentance

It keeps tryna get a hold of me, giving me this misery that's killing me
I am looking out the window seat tryna keep a hold of things before I no longer breath

She was screaming that he was beating her and even tho it was a lie it made me remember
About the time my mom got beaten behind my back
It made me think if she was screaming for someone to help her
What type of man would lay hands on their woman
She wore a tone of makeup to hide the bruises
Before that he even threatened to kill her and her children
And yet she still let him in knowing he might do it
To tie us up and leave us to die while asking us if he can come back in our life
And if not she'll get another guy and she did and still cheated on'em
Swearing on her kids life that it's a lie
So if I die tomorrow you know why, I'm tryna bypass the sorrow and my mind
Got some stories to tell hope you ain't mad at me, these memories hold on me giving misery

It keeps tryna get a hold of me, giving me this misery that's killing me
I am looking out the window seat tryna keep a hold of things before I no longer breath