My New Celebrity Is You

I dig Modigliani (1)
Jolson doin' "Swanee (2) "
Several maharanee (3) are my intimates, too
I played with Montovani (4)
That's a lot of string to get through
But anyone can see my new celebrity is you

I've sung with Ethel Merman (5)
Swung with Woody Herman (6)
Played a gig in Germany with Ogerman (7) too
I nodded at a sermon
Billy Graham barely got through
But anyone can see my new celebrity is you
I'm not a bit ashamed of it
A rapier wit
Kept Serge Kousevit'sky (8) in line
I'd reprimand the Dorsey Band
Right on the Stand
'Cause Annie's cousin Fanny was a sweetie
(9) of mine

I've golfed with Lee Trevino
Won at the casino
Danced "the Piccolino" (10)
When the movie was new
Spent the night with Dino
Had to sleep with Jerry Lewis too (11)
But anyone can see my new celebrity is you

I've swooned at Mia Farrow
Angular and narrow drove her Pierce Arrow
(12) to a Gatsby Review
Tho frozen to the marrow
Who would dream of leaving that queue
But anyone can see my new celebrity is you
Her husband, andre Previn absolutely heaven
Even Herman Levin (13)
Wants to hire him, too
And as for Lady Bevan (14)
We were both in labor, that's true
But anyone can see my new celebrity is you

I played the uke with Vernon Duke
So well in Dubuque
That Vladimir Dukelsky (15) said, "Gee!"
My fingering a certain string
Was such a big thing
That Fanny's cousin Annie's
Taking lessons from me

I'm quite a fan of Lena
Close to Katrina (17)
Very fond of Gina Lollobrigida (17) , too
And as for Pasadena
Everybody there's an old shoe
But anyone can see my new celebrity is you
I see Muhammed Ali
Clanking goes my trolley (18)
Starred in "Hello Dolly"
When it ran out of blue and Salvatore Dali
He did a little sketch of me, too
But anyone can see my new celebrity is you

I've drunk with Willie Harbach (19)
Also Roger Stauback (20)
Wriggled pretty far back
When you start to pursue
And talk about your star back
Tarkenton (21) can scramble some, too
But anyone can see my new celebrity is you

You need a pair to give an air
Of fashion and flair
Have Bob and Danny Zarem (22) fly down
The older set'll need a pet
So who do you get well Danny has a granny
(23) who's the talk of the town

The incidents may vary
Jack and Mary Benny (24)
Nick and Sister Kenny (25)
Made the scene for me, too
Like little Lottie Lenya (26)
Helped to entertain at chez nous (27)
Where everyone could see
My new celebrity is you

Toast Dick and Barbara Carroll (28)
Dick is for apparel barbara plays a barrel
House piano beaucoup (29)
Try paging Charlie Farrell (30)
He'll do "Seventh Heaven (31) " on cue
But anyone can see my new celebrity is you

Dear Dick and Betty Dorso (32)
Talks to fit the torso
Who could feature more so-
Phisticated lapels and when I mention Orso
I refer to Bean and not Welles (33)
Still anyone can see my new celebrity is you

When Steve McQueen and bennie Green (34) and
Geoffrey Beane (35)
Tried handing Joey Bushkin (36) a laugh
Both Mannie Klein (37) and Jule Styne (38)
Were limp on the vine
Till Franny hollered Manny (39)
"That's a nose and a half (40) "

Then there was Louis Nizer (41)
Kay and Georgia Kayser (42)
Lana, Lorna, Liza (43) lining up for a few
Mick Jagger, my advisor
He was there to take a bow, too
But anyone could see my new celebrity is you

In case you are a wet-so
Or you want to get so
Danny Levisto (44) serves a heavenly brew
But if you hate the Jets
So amble on to Mike's (45) for a few
Where anyone can see my new celebrity is you

We'll find Minerva Pius (46)
Frederick Delius (47) helmut Zacharias (48)
At a table for two and leaning on the bias
Kloppman (49) might be slightly askew
But anyone can see my new celebrity is you

Meet Lanny Ross and Annie Ross (50)
And Harry the Horse (51)
So high in Damon Runyon's (52) esteem
Dig Ed McMahon (53) and choo choo train
And Shirley MacLaine (54)
When Annie sings with Lanny
(55) "The Impossible Dream (56) "

So Scorpio or Taurus grab and old thesaurus
Write yourself a chorus
For your favorite few
These people who adore us
They're the ones to blow a kiss to
But don't forget cherie
My new celebrity is you anyone can see
My new celebrity is you

FOOTNOTES:
(1) Modigliani: Amedeo Modigliani
1884-1920 italian painter and sculptor

(2) Jolson doin' "Swannee": Al
Jolson, 1885-1950 American singer
Comedian, actor, and vaudefillian famous
For singing "Swannee"
Written with words by Irving Ceasar
And music by Ira
Gershwin in 1919 became a big hit for
Jolson in 1920 and was the
First musical act to appear in a
Talkie film, The Jazz Singer
In 1927 unfortunately it was performed
By Jolson in blackface

(3) Maharanee: The wive a a maharajah
A type of ruling prince in
Pre-Colonial and Colonial India

(4) Montovani: Annunzio Paolo Mantovani
1905-1980 an Anglo-Italian conductor
Composer and light orchestra-styled
Entertainer with
A cascading strings musical signature

(5) Ethel Merman: 1908-1984 an
American actress, artist
And singer know for her
Distinctive, powerful voice and
Leading roles in annite Get Your Gun, Gypsy
And Hello Dolly!

(6) Woody Herman: 1913-1987 American
Jazz clarinetist, saxophonist, singer
And big band leader

(7) Ogerman: Claus Ogerman (1930-2016)
German arranger, conductor
And composer best
Know for his work with Billie
Holiday, Antonio Carlos Jobim
Frank Sinatra and Diana Krall

(8) Serge Kousevit'sky:
Russian-born conductor
Composer and double bassist
Known for his long tenure as music director
Fo the Boston Symphony Orchestra from 1923-49

(9) Annie's cousin Fanny was a sweetie of
Mine: Is a song by Glenn
Miller and recorded by the Dorsey brothers
Orchestra in 1934 and 35

(10) The Piccolino: Dance tune by
And featured in Top Hat
(1935) where Fred Astaire danced
It with Ginger Rogers

(11) Jerry Lewis too: References that Dino
(Dean Martin) was teamed up with
Jerry Lewis for many years in a
Comedy act and radio show

(12) Pierce Arrow: Hi-end sports car
Manufactured from 1901 to 1938

(13) Herman Levin: Broadway producer
Known for "My
Fair Lady" and "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes"

(14) Lady Bevan: Might be
Mary Ann Bevan (1874-1933)
, an English woman who
After developing acromegaly
Toured the sideshow circuit as "the
Ugliest woman in the world"

(15) Vladimir Dukelsky: Is Vernon
Duke (1903-1969) , an American composer
Songwriter best known for "Taking
A Chance on Love"

(16) Lena and Katrina: No idea what this
References lena might be Lena Horne
And Katrina might refer to a popular 1947
Disney song "Katrina" from
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr toad
Popularized by Bing Crosby

(17) Gina Lollobrigida: Famous Italian
Actress born 1927, still living (93 in 2021)
One of the highest-profile
European actresses of
The 1950s and early 1960s
A period in which she was
An international sex symbol

(18) Clanking goes my trolley: Reference to
Judy Garlands hit "The Trolley
Song" from the 1944 film "Meet
Me In St louis"

(19) Willie Harbach: 1917-2017 tV producer
Director and author

(20) Roger Stauback: Pro football
Quaterback for Dallas Cowboys
1969-1979 two times Super Bowl champion

(21) Tarkenton: Fran Tarkenton pro
Football quaterback for
Minnesota Vikings and New York Giants
1961-1978

(22) Bob and Danny Zarem: American
Publicists managed publicity for Dustin
Hoffman, Cher, Schwarzenegger
Michael Jackson, diana Ross, Sophia Loren
Among others

(23) Danny has a granny: Unknown reference

(24) Jack and Mary Benny:
Jack Benny (1894-1974)
Commedian, radio and TV star and his wife
Mary (1905-1983)

(25) Nick and Sister Kenny:
Sister Kenny was a
1946 biographical film about an
Australian bush nurse
Who helped people with polio
Played by Rosalind Russell
No idea who Nick was nick Charles
Perhaps? The Thin Man played
By William Powell

(26) Lottie Lenya: Singer and wife
Of songwriter Kurt Weill

(27) Chez nous: French for "our house"

(28) Dick and Barbara Carroll: Barbara might
Be the jazz pianist (1925-2017)

(29) beaucoup: Great in quantity or amount

(30) Charlie Farrell: 1900-1990 popular
Hollywood leading man
Of late silent an early talkies films

(31) Seventh Heaven: One of Charlie Farrell's
Better known silent films from 1927

(32) Dick and Betty Dorso:
Richard J "Dick" Dorso's
(1909-2011) lengthy Hollywood career
Ranged from talent
Agent to television writer and
Producer to haberdasher
Represented Artie Shaw, Judy
Holliday, Ethel Merman
The Andrews Sisters and Doris Day
Opened the high-end Dorso Boutique
With his wife Betty in Beverly
Hills in 1969 betty
(1911-2002) she is the grandmother
Of Robert Downey Jr

(33) Bean and not Welles: "Orso"
Is short for Orson
And she's referring to Orson Bean not
Orson Welles orson Bean
(1928-2020) was an American film
Television and stage actor and a comedian
Writer and producer hosted many game shows in
The mid-century including To Tell The Truth

(34) Bennie Green: 1923-1977
American jazz trombonist
Played with Earl Hines, Charlie Ventura
And recorded as band leader through
The 1950's and 60's

(35) Geoffrey Beane: 1924-2004 new York's
Most famous fashion designer

(36) Joey Bushkin: 1916-2004 American
Jazz pianist played
For Nat "King" Cole, Judy Garland
And Bing Crosby among others

(37) Mannie Klein: 1908-1994 American
Jazz trumpeter played
With Paul Whiteman, Jimmy
Dorsey, Tommy Dorsey
Benny Goodman and others

(38) Jule Styne: 1905-1994 british-American
Songwriter and composer of
Broadway musicals, including Gypsy
Gentlemen Prefer Blonds, and Funny Girl

(39) Franny hollered Manny: Unknown

(40) "Nose and a half": Possibly
A reference to Jimmy Durante

(41) Louis Nizer: Jewish-American trial
Lawyer defended blacklisted individuals
During the Red Scare of the 1950s

(42) Kay and Georgia Kayser: Kay
Kyser (sic) , 1905-85, was a
Famous Big Band leader and host
Of radio music quiz show
Kay Kyser's College
Of Musical Knowledge, 1939-49 georgia
Née Carroll, 1919-2011
Was Kay's wife she was
Daisy Mae in the 1940 RKO
Pictures production of "L'il Abner"
Betsy Ross in the 1942 film of
Yankee Doodle Dandy with James Cagney

(43) Lana, Lorna
Liza: Lana might be Lana Turner liza is Liza
Minnelli lorna is Liza's sister and
Daughter of Judy Garland, lorna Luft

(44) Danny Levisto: Unknown

(45) Mike's: Unknown

(46) Minerva Pius: 1903-1979 Russian
Born American radio
Television and film actress best
Know for her portrayal
Of Pansy Nussbaum on Fred Allen's radio show

(47) Frederick Delius: 1862-1934
English classical composer one of the
Earliest to be influenced by
African American music

(48) Helmut Zacharias: 1920-2002 german
Violinist and composer
Sold 14 million records by the 1950s
He was considered to be one of
The best jazz violinists of
Europe and was dubbed "The Magic
Violinist" and "Germany's Mr violin"

(49) Kloppman: Corporation that
Manufactures polyester
Fabrics correctly spelled "Klopman"

(50) Lanny Ross and Annie Ross: Lancelot
"Lanny" Ross, 1906-1988, American singer
Pianist and
Songwriter annie Ross, 1930-2020
American jazz singer
And part of the trio Lambert
Hendricks and Ross the two are not related

(51) Harry the Horse: A character
In the Broadway musical
Guys and Dolls described as "a gambler with a
Complaining streak and is one
Of Nathen Detroit's
(the lead) primary associates"

(52) Damon Runyon: 1880-1946
American newspaperman
And short-story writer he was
Known for writing a certain type
Of "Damon Runyon" character
Of which Harry the Horse would
Have been a type

(53) Ed McMahon: 1923-2009 the
Tonight Show with
Johnny Carson's co-host from1962 to 1992

(54) Shirley MacLaine: Born 1934
American actress and singer
Featured roles include Alfred Hitchcock's
The Trouble With harry, The Apartment
(with Jack Lemon) , Irma la Douce
Sweet Charity, Terms of Endearment
And Postcards from the Edge

(55) Annie sings with Lanny: This
Coupled with "the Impossible Dream"
Probably is a
Joke since Annie Ross and Lanny
Ross were both named Ross but
Where to far apart
In age to have ever sung together, hence
The Impossible Dream

(56) The Impossible Dream: Lead song of the
1965 musical "The Man Of La Mancha
" based on Cervantes' Don Quixote the lyrics
Is "To dream the impossible dream"