Ever So Clear

See, most of my life I never had shit
I felt like an outcast, treated like a misfit
Damn near didn't make it on my day of birth
Thinking was I really supposed to be on this planet earth
I take a deep breath, and then another follows
'cause hardship is kinda hard to swallow
See, it's rough bein a loner
Not knowin any given day and time I could wind up a goner
See, people got it bad from jump street
And bein short is just another strike against me
I used to get funny looks 'cause I was small
And tryin to make it was like runnin through a brick wall
Given the odds I was up against, bro
The average nigga woulda quit a long time ago
But now I've got a record out
I'm doin shows, people payin to see me turn it out
Now I'm the spice around town
It's funny how an album can change a nigga's life around
I got friends and bitches on my dick
But when they look at Richard all they see is Bushwick
Sometimes I don't know a friend from a foe
And every different day it's a different fuckin hoe
And now that my pockets are gettin bigger
I'm meetin hoes who only want to juice a nigga
They tell me that they love me and all that
But really they just wait for me to fall flat
So they can get me for my income
Take me for all I got, and then some
Like Trina, you dig
I fucked up and got too attached to the bitch's kid
Knowin that she used the baby to use me
Took him out my life, mentally abusin me
But as the time went by I got another slimmy
And she was just like the first one screamin gimme
But not in the exact same way
She had a different type of game she liked to play
Her name was Crystal, she played the quiet type
And for a little while shit seemed alright
But just like the first hoe, homie
When shit got hectic the bitch broke out on me
And it's gettin outta hand, gee
'cause nobody seems to understand me
Reminiscin got me feelin kinda low
I broke out the Ever-Clear and then I drunk some mo'
Until it was all gone
Now I'm lookin for somebody to take my pain out on
But not just anybody, gee
I'ma take that on to Mica 'cause she's the closest to me
Full of that Ever-Clear and high on that buddah
Get to the house all I'm thinkin bout is shootin her
'cause shootin her would be sweet
But you know what'd be sweeter? if I make her shootin me
Call me crazy, but that's what I'm thinkin
I'm trippin from all that smokin weed and drinkin
But I knew she wouldn't do it on her own, so I provoked her
Punched her, kicked her, and chocked her
She still wouldn't grab the gun
And at that time I wasn't thinkin about no one
Damn near crazy I went and grabbed the baby
Held him by the door and said i'ma throw his ass out, hoe
She went to cryin, somebody stop him
I said: you better grab the muthafuckin gun or i'ma drop him
She snatched the baby out of my hands
We started fighting, punching, scratching, and biting
When we fell on the bed, check this shit
All kinds of crazy shit was goin through my head
So I ran and got the gun and came back to her
Loaded it up and handed the gat to her
I grabbed her hand and placed the gun to my eye muscle
She screamed stop and then we broke into another tussle
Yo, durin the fight the gun went off quick
Damn! aw shit, I'm hit
(Aw... my eye, I can't see
Why you shot me in the eye?
I woulda shot you in the body
Why you shot me in the eye?)
Ridin in the ambulance everything is hectic
I can't get a grip, I just can't check this
Everybody's cryin, could it be I'm dyin
Bullet in my head, in the bed was lyin
Where's Mica? I want to tell her I love her
With an [ ] in my arm I took a picture for an album cover
Goddamn, the shit's a trip, gee
Five different doctors with needles tryin to stick me
I hear my family hollerin he needs us
Durin the confusion, man, I seen jesus
My mom's on the phone long-distance from New York
Here comes the doctors again tryin to rip me apart
I got a monkey on my back, I can't shake it
I'm havin suicidal thoughts hopin that I don't make it
But I'ma make it 'cause something's steady urgin me
Five hours passed, I made it through surgery
And the doctor said I wouldn't make it through the night
But god told me everything is gonna be alright
And I'm glad that I'm here, gee
But it's fucked up I had to lose an eye to see shit clearly

Aw man, I made it
I made it
And everyone gets to hear my story
I made it
But don't try this at your home
Learn from my mistakes
Kick the beat in, Bido