JUMP (Beauty In The Beast)

[Intro]
Sometimes it’s too much for me to see them like that
To see everyone in the house come home and have that look on their face
You know the look
We all have our own issues, but when the issues come from each other, that’s when it starts to affect me
That’s when we become just as divided as the outside world
That’s why I stick to my friends more often than not
But they’ll never know it’s this bad, ever...

[Verse 1]
Wait a second, let me breathe for a minute
Inhale, exhale, couldn’t speak for minute
Yes well, couldn’t leave for a minute
Tired of being strong, allow me to be weak for a minute
I won’t ever try to act hard
Sometimes, I just wish that I could fast forward
Or maybe take a couple dozen steps backwards
I hope you guys don’t think I’m coming at y’all
But I just need to vent, and I can’t do it to you because you need to listen
No interruptions
Cause you need to sense the urgency in what you aren’t seeing
And I’m certainly the person you need to hear it from
For some reason, I try to play mediator
Just trying to keep the peace between us all, to no avail
So I stop, drop and roll through the smoke till it clears
I just hope you aren’t broken like I am
Numb to it all, I don’t even take precautions anymore
I just walk through the fire, like a Phoenix when it’s rising from the ashes
To the masses, does it matter if you’re crying or I’m dying from the fact that we’re divided even more than when I’m trying to attach a couple bandages
While damaging who I am to the point where it’s almost like I’m flying away
You wonder why I go to my friends more and why I ain’t pray
No, it’s not because they meant more
Less animosity, tension, and I can sense more love and sincerity when they vent towards me and my problems
More often than not, I feel as if I’m a mistake to you
Gotta be honest, if I can’t say it to your face without you all wreaking havoc
Then I’ll say it to this mic with every one of these polyps on the back of my tonsils
Even if it’s too big of a pill to swallow

[Hook]
I just hope you understand me
While I stand on the edge of this cliff, looking back at you
There’s no plan B
Too often, y’all make me want to jump sometimes
Feel like you don’t know me, I will not pick sides
Just a few things hold me
Just a few things hold me
Just a few things hold me together x2

[Verse 2]
I hope the day never comes where I release this
Cause if I do, I’m sure I’ll be getting different looks
I’ll never have enough time to pick up the pieces
We’ll forever be on the same page, in different books
Maybe it was stupid of me to think my last EP would get your attention like everyone elses
Sure, everyone felt it
But it doesn’t mean a thing if what I say ain’t helping
Maybe you aren’t listening for the message
Maybe you’re in awe that it’s me and you didn’t catch it
Maybe you don’t know me well enough to know I’m talking to you on each record
About how my downfall could occur to me any second
Or the reason I really became distant from everyone I grew up with
It’s like they grew up, quit life and you must sit back and watch it
I just sat back and learned not to screw up with drugs, the law, or anything alkee related
I may be wired like an addict, but the habit has made me aware of the dangers I’m prone to
I remember the look I got when I told you
I remember specifically you asking why I never mention you but why on every song, I mention my friends and Aaliyah too
Well, they say the less you know, the better you feel
But if you want to know, then as always, I’ll keep it real with you
The things you say, the things you do make me feel like nothing when compared to you
I still love you, as much as I don’t say it
The proof is me telling the truth, you have as much to do with my suicidal thoughts as Marina dying
That’s why I’m so attached to Aaliyah, honestly the closest I’ll ever get to a daughter
You don’t know me as well as you thought, but you ought to know that ish

[Hook]
I just hope you understand me
While I stand on the edge of this cliff, looking back at you
There’s no plan B
Too often, y’all make me want to jump sometimes
Feel like you don’t know me, I will not pick sides
Just a few things hold me
Just a few things hold me
Just a few things hold me together x2

[Outro]
I was on the phone with Aaliyah one night, and um, she asked if she could tell me something. Of course, I said yes, not even knowing what I was walking into. But, just for her to ask, it had to be important. She said, “I don’t have to force myself to be different around other people. I like me. And if they don’t, then they don’t really have to be around me. Is that ok?” I was so happy because she’s so young. She’s six, but that’s all she needs to know. That’s all she needs to know, man. Then she fell asleep on me...