Please Don’t Put Me On Hold

Thank you for calling, the lines are all busy
Cause there are too many people like you

Calling for answers and wanting them quickly
Press zero for main menu

English press 1, Spanish press 2
You're 11th in line til we can get to you

[Chorus]
I’m tryna be nice, not pushy or bold
Just please don’t put me on hold!

We're here waking China and Bangalore
Hong Kong, Chicago and Ecuador

If we can’t help you, then don’t blame us
We're recording this call so you won't cuss

[Chorus]
I’m tryna be nice, but this is gettin old
Pleasе don’t put me on hold!

It’s the wrong departmеnt, I’m transferred on
Voice mail says, that employee is gone

Gone on vacation and the line clicks over
I’m losing composure

What’s your account lock? Four digit pin
I didn’t hear you, so try it again!

I’m searching through my wallet and I’m tearing it apart
Please, don’t make me restart

I’m hearing Muzak versions of hard rock classic
‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ done with clarinets and strings

What could be up, what’s takin’ so slow?
I started hummin’ and tapping my toe
The ‘Born To Be Wild’ song in a bouncy way

[INSTRUMENTAL]

Am I still connected, cause I can’t tell
I’m afraid I’m caught up in a ring of hell

It’s a plot it’s plan it’s a scam it’s a clue
I just wanna talk to someone who can

Tell me how to fix, correct a mistake
The meaning of life, tell me it’s not too late

[Chorus]
I’m tryna be nice, but truth be told
Please don’t put me on hold!

Finally, a real person says ‘can I help you out?’
I say if you were in this room, I would kiss you on the mouth

You cough and say this is customer service
I’m backpeddlin tryna state my purpose

[Chorus]
I’m tryna be nice, I’m not creepy or old
Just please don’t put me on hold!
Please don’t put me on hold!
Please don’t put me on hold!
Please!