Erotorture

Through the clutter
Of the strings and knots of my nerves and veins
Hidden under
Every inch of skin there’s a truth I know

I can feel it closer every time I claw through the shadows
I’m on a roller-coaster ride through Hades and black holes

I could nurture
But instead I’m dry and devoid of life
Erotortured
In a disassociative overdrive

Every cell and atom is coerced to burn in attraction
Only to be soaked in pain and ripped apart by passion

Like a ghost
Locked in my flesh and kept at bay
Among the living, chasing life
Watching it slip away
Loathing and hurt
I choke on lust
Anxious and drowning in dismay
Insecure I’m running astray
Hoping to self-absolve
Stranded in denial of love

I am Alice
Gazing at the world from behind the Looking Glass
Wrapped in sadness
Like a battered heart in a doomed romance

As I’m cutting deeper, ignorance becomes a virtue
Big on pain and self-denial I am living my erotorture

Like a ghost
Locked in my flesh and kept at bay
Among the living, chasing life
Watching it slip away
Loathing and hurt
I choke on lust
Anxious and drowning in dismay
Insecure I’m running astray
Hoping to self-absolve
Stranded in denial of love

Negligent, spiteful, arrogant, prideful, sadistic beast
I won’t get bitten again, won’t be coerced to become a narcissist
It’s so perverse to deny that you’re drawn to the darkness you hate when you’re alone
But once you settle in even hell becomes home

Even hell becomes home
Even hell becomes home
Home

I wish I could love without getting split
I wish I could speak without getting deaf
I wish I could be whole, but I have to admit
I’d love to love without hating myself

Dark and devious, crooked and hideous parasite
I come after you with eyes open wide
While your demons bite mine howl back at them in delight
Lust and arrogance keep me warm at night

Warm at night

Like a ghost
Locked in my flesh and kept at bay
Among the living, chasing life
Watching it slip away
Loathing and hurt
I choke on lust
Anxious and drowning in dismay
Insecure I’m running astray
Hoping to self-absolve
Stranded in denial of love

While your demons bite mine howl back at them in delight
I come after you with eyes open wide
Dark and devious, crooked and hideous parasite
Rage and revelry keep me alive inside

Your demons and my shadows can dance like no-one else
Dark and devious, my secrets like cinders glow
Locked in my flesh, pain, lust, and darkness coalesce
I’d love to love but first one of us should go

Your demons and my shadows can dance like no-one else
I’d love to love but first one of us should go

Your demons and my shadows can dance like no-one else
Dark and devious, my secrets like cinders glow
Locked in my flesh, pain, lust, and darkness coalesce
I’d love to love but first one of us should go