Earth-shaking Event

Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend
That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event
This planet's seen in recent history
So I suggest that you can it and hand the mic to me
Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend
That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event
This planet's seen in recent history
So I suggest that you can it aim the camera at me

Cex got his heart broke, can you believe that?
I've got the pieces to prove it, but this track'll be my gluestick
An album on my shelf that'll tell me what I really need to hear
It's all the same, all rage, all tears

And It'd be nice to pump my fist, shout 'Bitch!' and feel great
But I just can't relate
I like girls, they're the one thing that makes this life worth livin'
So we ought to stop singing this stale regurgitation of dismiss

Today it all changed, you see I broke up with my girl
But I'ma right a party jam and dedicate it to her
Don't think for a minute I'm out to fake sensitive
You can kill me if you see me on some lily-faced shit

I'm just sick of the same self-righteous regret
I'm snatching mics and guitars from the whiny and redundant
Catch the blunt end of the role model's brutal honesty
Don't wallow in their mess depressed, follow me

Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend
That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event
This planet's seen in recent history
So I suggest that you can it and hand the mic to me
Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend
That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event
This planet's seen in recent history
So I suggest that you can it aim the camera at me

Middle finger to the indie rock singer
Middle finger to the wack MC
Middle finger to the uncreative underground
And a sack of middle fingers to y'all on MTV
Middle finger to the indie rock singer
Middle finger to the wack MC
Middle finger to the uncreative underground

Now some sucks claim that their lyrically superior
Writing Cex off cause they say I'm not serious
Yeah, you might use a few more syllabyles
But you're singing about the exact same shit Britney Spears is
So hear this, I represent the average music listener
You've been bringin' us down, and now we're all pissed at ya
I'm takin' your crowns and handin' 'em out on the corner
To little kids sick of being tormented and bordered
I'm not gonna cry cause my girl and I split
I'm gonna be psyched that our lives even ever mixed
And that I didn't let the artist living in my headphones
Turn me bitter and cliche, ridiculous and emo
Oh no, au contraire my brother
Your mind sings precisely your problem with others
Because the five bisexual hang-ups are out
Sexual phone ringing off the hook, that's what it's about.

Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend
That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event
This planet's seen in recent history
So I suggest that you can it and hand the mic to me
Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend
That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event
This planet's seen in recent history
So I suggest that you can it aim the camera at me

Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend
That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event
This planet's seen in recent history
So I suggest that you can it and hand the mic to me
Now I feel it necessary to remind you, my friend
That splittin' with your girl ain't the most earth-shaking event
This planet's seen in recent history
So I suggest that you can
Shut the fuck up, please!