In The Absence Of Christmas

Sitting in the living room
Staring at the decorations
Feels so out of place in this house
Sucking on a toffee apple
Munching on some pumpkin pie
Seems so out of place in his mouth
Such incongruous cuisine
He eats a tangerine to clean his palate
Someone get that man a mince pie
Before he starts to cry
Ding dong merrily on high

What does Santa Claus do for Halloween
Oh, whoa oh
What does Santa Claus do for Halloween

Trick or treaters come 'a knocking
At saint Nicolas' door
But he ain't got no candy for them
(oh no no)
Trick or treaters getting angry
Throwing eggs at Santa's door
But he tells the
m they'll be sorry come December 24
This holiday it makes no sense
No Gold no Myrrh no Frankincense
Baby Jesus would be taking offense
Santa's slouching by the fire
In his jovial attire
He collapses to his knees
Won't somebody help him please?

What does Santa Claus do for Halloween
Oh, woah oh
What does Santa Claus do for Halloween

And he lights a Jack-o-lantern
And he throws it in the road
And the kids all start a screaming
As the lantern does explode
But the parents of those kiddies
Hold old Santa to the ground
Now saint Nick is quite surrounded
And Halloween is safe and sound

What does Santa Claus do for Halloween
Oh, whoa oh
What does Santa Claus do for Halloween
What does Santa Claus do for Halloween
Oh, whoa oh
What does Santa Claus do for Halloween