strugglin'

I could lie and say that life is great
But what's the point of lying when I can't prove it on my face
For months, everything hasn't been good for me
It's been crap to me, nothing new to me
Dealt with a lot of things, mostly loss, mostly loss of things
Been played with, had my time wasted, so here we are
I've been calm, but I'm not here with no bullshit
I've been darn close from actually losing it
I may blow up at you, but I really ain't mean it, truly I ain't mean it
If you're wondering, yes I am strugglin'
I'm not mad at you, oh, I'm just huffing
So over everything, because I'm strugglin', oh, I'm strugglin'
Tried to talk to someone but it was worthless
Guy was a dry texter and it was such a mess
Flirting, but it was never no make a move
So I was like, what am I doing wrong? (What am I doing wrong?)
Had issues already going on at home
Lost my home, never told anyone (Never told anyone)
Was silent, had a fake smile, and nobody knew anything
My friends said, "You've gotten quieter and more mature" (Oh)
I smiled, but deep down I was insecure (Oh)
I was changing but it wasn't in a good way, hey, hey
I was fake happy, tried to stay optimistic
But somehow I ended up being pessimistic
I'm like, "What the hell am I even doing?"
Nothing is ever right for me
If you're wondering, yes I am strugglin' (Yeah, yeah)
I'm not mad at you, oh, I'm just huffing (Oh)
So over everything, because I'm strugglin', oh, I'm strugglin' (I'm strugglin')
I've been going through it, no I ain't bluffing (No)
I'm tryna get through these long years, man (Long years)
I just wanna live big and free
Yet, here I'm strugglin' (I'm)
I wanna see me get better for myself
But I keep thinking it's never gonna happen
So I give up, I tap out
I don't need anything no more
From nobody, I got myself
Everybody wants me to talk but it's like I can't
So I can't, don't want to
(Four, three, two, one) Don't ask me for anything, cause I'm…
If you're wondering, yes I am strugglin' (Yeah)
I'm not mad at you, oh, I'm just huffing (I'm just huffin')
So over everything, because I'm strugglin', oh, I'm strugglin' (Oh I'm, oh I'm, oh I'm)
I've been going through it, no I ain't bluffing (No)
I'm tryna get through these long years, man (Yo)
I just wanna live big and free
Yet, here I'm strugglin' (I'm strugglin')
Oh, I'm strugglin' (Ah)
Oh, I'm strugglin' (Oh-oh, oh-oh)
Oh, I'm strugglin'