Cowboy Scale of 1 to 10
If there ever was a way to rate a man
On a cowboy scale of one to ten
Kinda like you would a women or a chili pepper
A one ain't hot, but a ten'll stop your ticker (mmhmm)
It'd be based on courage and attitude
Not the band on the hat or the bling on the boot
And less about the out, more about the within
On this cowboy scale of one to ten
Now take the pretty boy over at the bar for example
His Resistol's huge and his B.S. Is ample
But I got a feelin' he's never stepped in none
And on the cowboy scale that puts him down around a one
Now the guy in the ball cap, the t-shirt, and dirty ol' jeans
Got a dozen gold buckles that you'll probly never see
'Cause he really don't give a damn what you think he is
On your cowboy scale of one to ten
Some ride bulls and some ride fences
Some ride off into that sunset
Some drive cattle and some drive Chevy's
But they all drive them ladies crazy
(Ladies and gentlemen my friends Dale Brisby and Mr. Cory Blonde)
(Are here to give you a cowboy education)
(You ready boys?)
(Yes, sir)
(Tell 'em 'bout it ol' son)
Now the cowgirls, boys, they're the ones who know
The real deal from ol' Ricky rodeo
'Cause let me tell ya fellas, till they see you ride
They'll never give you more than a four
Maybe five
Now not all cowboys hail from the lone star state
California, Alaska to Canada, eh?
I even know a few hippies, long hair and tattoos
That sure are some tough mother buckaroos
Some ride bulls and some ride fences
Some ride off into that sunset
Some drive cattle and some drive Chevy's
But they all drive them ladies crazy
(We got one more cowboy on here that knows a thing or two about it)
(Ladies and gentleman, say hello to Mr. Ned Ledoux)
(Come on, cowboy boy)
So if ya ever took a big ol' dip of Copenhagen
Started barroom brawls or just participated
Know a quarter horse can't be started with a coin
Y'ain't quite there yet, boys, but 'yer getting warm
(Ladies and gentleman, our brother Mr. Red Steagall)
I've been around some, and I'd like to say
If you really wanna know who's the real John Wayne
Well, that's the folks who serve and protect this great land
And on the cowboy scale
That's a top drawer ten
(Let's go find the beer cooler boys, what you say?)
(Yes, sir)
(Ned, give me some of that Copenhagen, would ya)
(Here you go Cody, don't eat it all)