Conflicted Hope

I am curious to know if anyone else feels conflicting
As if their moral values and their wants are very resisting
Which makes you want to scream because it is very, very daunting
So now you're drowning under the water gasping, you're fighting
But the thought of doing wrong again makes you very apprehensive
The mind is stuck to this topic like there is some sort of adhesive
You want to tell your people but in a way that's comprehensive
You want to let it out just like how your legs and arms are extended
But apparently the speakers you own are just too expensive
You wish you had a 3-D plain so that you can be expansive
Just like Manifest Destiny was roaming and made some passage
To her this seems miniscule but to you it is very massive
You're walking down this road with so many thoughts that race through your brain
That you are beginning to think, perhaps, maybe you are just insane
And all of the thoughts that are racing like cars are just inhumane
You know that it all happened because of you, now you are to blame
Do not beat yourself up soldier, keep your head up and play the game
When you finally overcome your mind will never be the same
If you get shot down you will return home with some money and fame
I can sadly assure you that she'll never remember your name
Just don't shoot point-blank range, but just go ahead and take your time and aim
Wait patiently to take your shot and remember why you had came
You're living through this and you need to take your risks to be famous
Just be prepared to be frowned upon as you don't have shame, you're shameless
But you have a guilty conscience, you cannot be found as blameless
Beginning to think that you can shoot you are now so aimless
Feeling all of these emotions is making you become painless
Know that when you feel painless to others that is so dangerous
You're questioning if you even loved her you're so very curious
The love you had you can't deny, you made a mistake, you're very furious
You're going on in the relationship like is this serious?
Sadly you're hurt, you're not feeling butterflies in your pancreas
But now you are going on in life like what the hell is this meaning?
Every single one of your emotions are secretly convening
In a meeting trying to figure out why you are demeaning
Yourself because at this moment it is not what you're needing
Perhaps this version of conflicted hope, you are dreaming
So now you're losing sleep, barley eating, it's intervening
With yourself, take a shower 'cause you're needing a deep self-cleaning
You need to be aware of yourself and who you're going to be being
I do not believe you are blind you are now finally seeing
Look in the mirror, you believe me, finally you are healing
Look at how good you look DK, you don't deserve a beating
I know that something needed to end to have a new beginning
And then if that's what I'm saying, then I guess this is my BEGINNING