I Can Do Without You

In the summer, you're the winter
In the finger, you're the splinter
In the banquet, you're the stew
Say, I c'n do without you!

In the garden, you're the gopher
In the Levi's, you're the loafer
Like an overturned canoe
Well, I c'n do without you!

You c'n go to Philadelphia
Take a hack to Hackensack hey!
I'll never ring a bell fer ya
Or yell fer ya to come back!

In the question, you're the why
In the ointment, you're the fly
Though I know some things are indispensable
Like a buck or two
'f there's one thing I c'n do without
I c'n do without you!

In the barrel, you're a pickle
In the gold mine, you're a nickel
You're the tack inside my shoe
Yeah, I c'n do without you!

In my bosom, you're a dagger
You're a mangy carpetbagger
In the theater, you're the "Boo!"
I c'n do without you

You got charms, they ain't bewitchin' me
You've a face no one wud paint
I got the darnedest itch in me
To be wherever you ain't!

In the bullfrog, you're the croak
In the forest, poison oak!
Though I know some things are necessary
My half-pint buckaroo
'f there's one thing I c'n do without
I c'n do without

You're a knothead! You're a faker!
You're a bonehead! Trouble maker!
I c'n do without you!