Grandpa’s Gonna Sue The Pants Off of Santa

No doubt you can remember Grandma's passing
That tragic mournful tale so often sung

The prime suspect is one of Santa's reindeer
In the world's most famous case of hit and run
One day while grieving, Grandpa watched the TV

He heard some advertising lawyers swear
They'd win a multimillion dollar settlement
And make his loss much easier to bear

Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa
That's what Grandpa's gonna do
Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa
'Cause Grandma would have wanted him to

Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa
He knows the law is on his side
Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa
Santa's going for a ride

Yesterday the judge arranged the reindeer
Rudolph was the first to take the stand
They asked him for the truth about old Santa
Rudy said, "He's just a fat and jolly man"

Now Santa is before the prosecution
He looks a little thinner on the stand
And if they take away his flying license
There won't be any Christmas in the land

Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa
That's what Grandpa's gonna do
Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa
'Cause Grandma would have wanted him to

Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa
He thinks the law is on his side
Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa
Santa's going for a ride

Now Santa and the reindeer wait for the verdict
Delivered by a jury of their peers
Six fat men with long and flowing whiskers
And half a dozen poker faced reindeers

Now Grandpa gets a TV for his suffering
And Santa is declaring bankruptcy
But listen closely and you'll hear the lawyers
Singing "Jingle Bells" as they collect their fee

Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa
That's what Grandpa's gonna do
Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa
'Cause Grandma would have wanted him to

Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa
He thought the law was on his side
Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa
Santa's going for a ride

And Grandpa's riding by his side
'Cause the lawyers took him for a ride