Today I Met Myself
I get the petrol don't forget to buy a couple of sweets
Sometimes I like to treat myself if only once a week
Open the door, get in the car, sit in the driver's seat
Peer into the rearview mirror and im staring back at me
When I say me I don't mean me as in my own reflection
Hardly slept so I suspect im staring at some weird projection
My brain has made to tell me alcohol abuse is wrong
Whereupon, I turn around and realise somethings going on:
Trust me son, this aint a con, you have to trust your eyeballs
Know those eyes are fine because they're mine so don't be stifled
You're slightly balder now and yes your pubes are turnin grey
But you've travelled back in time cos there's important shit to say
Don't do that (nope) / they'll try to dupe ya
Don't do this (nah) / they'll try to shoot ya
Don't do her (grim!) / she didn't suit ya
Today I met myself and I told me bout my future
So im sat in the front and sat in the back, as you do havin a chat
Asking bout the change in rap and where the musics at
I'm careful not to tell myself entirely everything
I've come here just to warn me as to what the future brings:
Oi, Listen, El, surely you can see that you're me
I'm you, look at the lips, you really cant ignore me
I know that in that bag there's ginger beer and curly-wurlys
It's kinda hurly burly but you must believe my story
I know you tasted glory, was all hunky dory,
Now you're standing on the borderline, today's the day your sure to find,
You don't know where to draw the line, this is the start of your decline
That's why I came back exactly 15 years before your sordid crime
Don't do that (nope) / they'll try to dupe ya
Don't do this (nah) / they'll try to shoot ya
Don't do her (grim!) / she didn't suit ya
Today I met myself and I told me bout my future
Freakin out, I been sneakin bout
Feelin edgy bout the fact that I've seeked me out
Im freakin out, I been sneakin bout
And I've sat inside my car and started speakin bout
What's yet to come
It seems most of what the future has to hold for me is decent
But recently my future self was caught having a threesome
One of the girls was underage with fake identification
The other one was legal but her father's occupation
Was head of a group of hoodlums from just south of the Thames
The entire episode was captured from a hidden lens
They found some substances inside the glove box of my car
So I'm front page of the sun, the mirror and the daily star
I'm either goin down for twenty or thugs are out to get me
My walls are bout to crumble which is why I went and sent me
Back in time, prevent the crime, avoid Jane and Amy
It seems my future self's a prick but really who can blame me
Don't do that (nope) / they'll try to dupe ya
Don't do this (nah) / they'll try to shoot ya
Don't do her (grim!) / she didn't suit ya
Today I met myself and I told me bout my future