Mrs. McGrath

Oh, Mrs mcGrath" the sergeant said
"Would you like to make a soldier
Out of your son Ted
With a scarlett coat, a big cocked hat
Mrs mcGrath, wouldn't you like that?"

Now, Mrs mcGrath lived on the sea shore
For the space of long seven years or more
Till she saw a big ship sailing in the bay
"Here's my son Ted
Will you clear the way!"

"Oh captain dear, where have you been
Have you been to the Mediterranean
Will you tell me the news of my son Ted
Is the poor boy living or is he dead?"

Up came Ted without any legs
And in their place, two wooden pegs
She kissed him a dozen times or two
And said "My god, Ted is it you?"

"Now were you drunk or were you blind
When you left your two fine legs behind
Or was it while walking upon the sea
Wore your two fine legs
From the knees away?"

"No, I wasn't drunk and I wasn't blind
When I left my two fine legs behind
But a cannon ball on the fifth of May
Tore my two fine legs and my knees away"

"My Teddyboy" the widow cried
"Your two fine legs were
Your mother's pride
That stumps of a tree wouldn't do at all
Why didn't you run from the cannon ball?"

"All foreign wars I do proclaim
Between Don John and the King of Spain
I'd rather have my son as he used to be
Than the King of France and his whole navy"