A Transport of Delight

[FLANDERS&SWANN]
Some people like a motorbike
Some say "A tram for me!"
Or for bonnie army lorry
They'd lay them down and dee
Such means of locomotion
Seem rather dull to us
[SWANN]
The driver
[FLANDERS]
And conductor
Of
A London omnibus

Hold very tight please, ting ting!
Hold very tight please, ting ting!

[FLANDERS]
When you are lost in London
And you don't know where you are
You'll hear my voice a-calling
"Pass further down the car!"
[FLANDERS & SWANN]
And very soon you'll find yourself
Inside the terminus
In a London Transport, diesel-engined
Ninety-seven horsepower omnibus

[SWANN]
Along the Queen's great highway
I drive my merry load
At twenty miles per hour
In the middle of the road
[FLANDERS & SWANN]
We like to drive in convoys
We're most gregarious
The big six-wheeler, scarlet-painted
London Transport, diesel-engined
Ninety-seven horsepower omnibus

Earth has not anything to show more fair
Mind the stairs! Mind the stairs! Mind the stairs! Mind the stairs!
Earth has not anything to show more fair
Any more fares? Any more fares? Any more fares? Any more fares? Any more fares?

[SWANN]
When cabbies try to pass me
Before they overtakes
I sticks me flippin' hand out
An' I jams on all me brakes
[FLANDERS]
Them jackal taxi drivers
Can only swear and cuss
Behind that monarch of the road
[SWANN]
Observer of the highway code
[FLANDERS]
That big six-wheelered
[SWANN]
Scarlet-painted
[FLANDERS]
London Transport
[SWANN]
Diesel-engined
[FLANDERS & SWANN]
Ninety-seven horsepower omnibus

[SWANN]
I stops when I'm requested
Although it spoils the ride
So he can shout
[FLANDERS]
"Get out of it!
"We're full right up inside."

We don't ask much for wages
We only want fair shares
So cut down all the stages
And stick up all the fares
If tickets cost a pound apiece
Why should you make a fuss?
[FLANDERS]
It's worth it just to ride inside
[SWANN]
That thirty-foot-long by ten-foot-wide
[FLANDERS]
Inside that monarch of the road
[SWANN]
Observer of the highway code
[FLANDERS]
That big six-wheeler, scarlet-painted
[FLANDERS]
London Transport
[SWANN]
Diesel-engined
[FLANDERS & SWANN]
Ninety-seven horsepower
Ninety-seven horsepower omnibus
Hold very tight please!
[piano makes two high notes in a 'ting ting!' sound]