Rough and Ready Man

Folks I'm looking for a worker â?¦not you
I want an extra special kind
When I get the type of man I want
I know I'm gonna have a little time
Got to be ambitious, a man that loves to work
I don't want no man that's lazy, no man that tries to shirk
I want a two-fisted, double-jointed, rough and ready man
I want a hard working, no shirking, good and steady man

Now he can be a backwards farmer or a digger in a ditch
He can even drive a garbage wagon
Honey it don't make no difference which
Long as he's a two-fisted (oh please), double-jointed, rough and ready man
I want a hard working, no shirking, good and steady man

Now I don't have to have a fat man
And neither must he be too thin
And I sure don't want no guy
Got to get all pepped up on gin
And if he doesn't like soap and water
Don't let that worry you â?¦we'll get along
But honey I want a man like Joe Louis
You knowâ?¦ a man that's big and strong
I want a two-fisted, double-jointed, rough and ready man
I want a hard working, no shirking, good and steady man

Now he can be knock-kneed, box-ankled
He can even have frog-eyes
But that won't make a bit of differenceâ?¦ if he's Okâ?¦ otherwise
I want a two-fisted, double-jointed, rough and ready man
I want a hard working, no shirking, good and steady man

When he snores I want the force to blow the bedclothes to the floor
And the breezes from his wheezes to knock the padlock off the door
When I come home some morning all dressed up like Esther's horse
I want him to grab me and tear all of my clothes, just to let me know who's boss
I want a two-fisted, double-jointed, rough and ready man
I want a hard working, no shirking, good and steady man

I want a man who won't let his children play with neither dog nor cat
But will drag in a skunk or a lion and say
"Here, you kids, play with that"

I want a two-fisted, double-jointed, rough and ready man
Is that clear to you?
Rough and ready man