Kokomo

There's a tenderloin special at the Sak 'N' Save, the sky is a dirty sock
I left my hat at the laundromat, met an old guy walking round the block
I asked him how to get out of town, he said "how far you wanna go?"
I said "I was thinking of Arkansas," he said "you'd be better off in Kokomo"

With a payday loan and a migraine I crossed Contrary Creek
Looking for a gal that I knew as Sal, we were married once for a week
I found her way back in the woods, all her secrets hidden under the snow
She pointed my way with a 28 gauge on the road to Kokomo

Amelia Earhart lived here, but she didn't stick around too long
She crossed that bridge on just two wheels and, by God, she was gone
I stayed too long in Kansas trying to tell a "yes" from a "no" -
But she wouldn't say and I am on my way on the road to Kokomo

Come all you brave young cowboys and get into software
Why be a roustabout now when you could be a millionaire?
The grain elevator is leaning, the trucks are rolling slow
Get out of hock, so long Red Rock, hello Kokomo

You know she was just my type: deranged, middle-aged, and crude
Nipples the size of jack balls, and a real bad attitude
She wore my ass out so damn fast, left me nowhere to go
With a sticky wicket and a greyhound ticket, one-way to Kokomo

Oh, these Michigan women, they know me much too well
They take me high and they leave me low, they can find me by my smell
And I would still be up in the U P, sitting by the fire's glow
If she hadn't whipped off her tubetop and run me down to Kokomo

Dig my grave with a Bobcat, and throw in a couple of spuds
Asses to asses, butts to butts, red blood to red mud
Pass around a bottle of Jim Beam, play something on the banjo
If anybody asks you where I've gone, just tell 'em "to Kokomo."