California Dreaming

I wish I that I could
Just see everything clearly
But I've been drowning in the dark
Can't help but push away when you
Try to get near me
It seems that all I cause is harm

And I can't seem to understand
No matter how I try I
Can't become a better man
And losing you was never in the plan
I guess I'll have to look inside
To find the strength to stand
Cause now I'm back up on my lonely
Back to acting coldly
Scared to face the fact I turned
My back on most my homies
Staying in the past so much I
Missed out on the moments
That was right in front of me
But I ain't even notice

I can't keep my focus i stay steady zoning
Though I'm staying sober
I feel scared of all these omens
Try to open up but it feel
Like my words been stolen
Only time I can is when I'm
Writing all these flows and

I just can't control it
Feel like time is frozen
Riding on beat and I feel
Like I'm finally home yeah
I just want some peace of mind
And I been steady hoping
California dreaming bout the
Destiny I've chosen

And I think that I
Might've lingered too long
I don't think I'll survive if
I don't move on
And I don't care bout who's right
And less bout who's wrong
All I know is I ain't been okay in too long

I've been wide awake all alone in my bed
Thinkin' bout the times we had together
Wishin' I was dead
But my problems lie much deeper
Embedded up in my head
Try to hold it all together
This weather is such a dread

Doin 95 on the freeway
Tryna feel alive bumpin' T-Pain
Then our song came on and I lost it
You can see it in my eyes, I'm exhausted

Numbin' the pain with the drugs
Gettin' bit up by these bugs, ay
My mind's a basement that's flooded
Feelin' it all in my gut, ay
I just wanna be okay
Wake up and start like today's a new day
I got 142 days left to change
But this rain has got me feelin' strange
Maybe it's the potent in my potion
Puffin' marijuana to rid of
All these emotions
Cloudy days of gray are my forte
I fucking know it
I've been stagnant on my floor
Hopin' that I don't blow it
That I do not blow it
Baby, I've been trying so damn hard
I hope you know it
2017, I'm still the same kid
That you know and
Wherever you go, I'm down to go
I hope you know that, yeah
I hope you know that
All this time with you I should've
Knew that I'm a poet
Write it all away until
These skies finally change
Maybe I'll wake up
Tomorrow feelin' rearranged
And I think that I
Might've lingered too long
I don't know I'll survive if
I don't move on
And I don't care bout who's right
And less bout who's wrong
All I know is I ain't been okay in too long
And I think that I
Might've lingered too long
I don't know I'll survive if
I don't move on
And I don't care bout who's right
And less bout who's wrong
All I know is I ain't been okay in too long