Scandalous Scholastics

(Did you hear about Travis?)
(No, what?)
(I heard he's been hooking up with a teacher!)
(Nice!)

And I can hear 'em talking in the hallways
I'm always late for lunch
Learning dirty little lessons from you
Now my name is on the lips of every cheerleader in my school
Now I'm a legend in the locker room (legendary, baby!)

(Ah) I was just a snotty-nosed degenerate
With hit pass perfection
Dodgin' teachers down to give my late ass detention
Hardly a heartthrob but I made due
Using those same 'circle yes or no'
Notes I used in grade school
Folded love letters with a tab that read 'pull here'
Writin' back and forth in notebooks for a full year
I used to daydream about Ms. Magnus
The type of fantasies you feel guilty for having
But who hasn't?
The only difference beside the age
Was the fact I acted on it
And who wouldn't?
A schoolboy crush met mature woman lust
And they hit it off so well
And I could tell the day she asked me
To stay after class that it was all bad
But I just bit my lip and acted all mad
The bell rang, class dismissed
The door shut and her skirt went up (That's a fact!)

And I can hear 'em talking in the hallways (let 'em keep talking)
I'm always late for lunch
Learning dirty little lessons from you (so sexy)
Now my name is on the lips of every cheerleader in my school
Now I'm a legend in the locker room (legendary, baby!)

We gave a brand new meaning
To 'after-school special'
The second that our lips touched
She kissed my ribs
And counted each one out loud
I tried my hardest not to giggle
But I couldn't 'cause it tickled so much
She pulled my pants to half-mast
I said, 'hurry, Miss Sin
You gonna make me late for math class.'
The way she praised my balls was vicious
Now that's what I like to call sacrilegious
One time became twenty times
Before we knew it
We stopped caring about where we would do it
From the classroom to the bathroom
And when all the students was gone
We'd even do it in the staff room
From F's to A's in less than three days
Now the underachiever's the one with the best grades
Made the third floor shake without breakin' a sweat
Goddamn, it felt good to be the teacher's pet

And I can hear 'em talking in the hallways (let 'em keep talking)
I'm always late for lunch
Learning dirty little lessons from you (so sexy)
Now my name is on the lips of every cheerleader in my school
Now I'm a legend in the locker room (legendary, baby!)

(Ah) Goodness gracious, accusations
Started flyin' through the building
Cruel as school children
This isn't how it was supposed to be
Reminiscing don't stand so close to me
And if it's mostly my fault for letting this shit happen
But I couldn't resist a little adolescent bragging
I mean, after all I was only fifteen
And she was showing me things
My virgin eyes had never seen
Never forget the little meeting she called
But when she saw my reaction
It made her appalled
So basically what you're sayin' is
If I don't keep tappin' that ass
Then you ain't gonna let me pass
Psh, some punishment, lady
And as I turned towards the door
I looked back
She had her clothes on the floor
Needless to say I passed with flying colors
But my teacher was my best friend's mother (damn)

And I can hear 'em talking in the hallways (let 'em keep talking)
I'm always late for lunch
Learning dirty little lessons from you (so sexy)
Now my name is on the lips of every cheerleader in my school
Now I'm a legend in the locker room (legendary, baby!)

And I can hear 'em talking in the hallways (let 'em keep talking)
I'm always late for lunch
Learning dirty little lessons from you (so sexy)
Now my name is on the lips of every cheerleader in my school
Now I'm a legend in the locker room (legendary, baby!)

And I can hear 'em talking in the hallways (let 'em keep talking)
I'm always late for lunch
Learning dirty little lessons from you (so sexy)
Now my name is on the lips of every cheerleader in my school
Now I'm a legend in the locker room (legendary, baby!)

Ah!