This Is Not a Cure for the Common Cold

Diagnosis, tits on a mule, worthless!
Wooden nickels will purchase products
Placed in a bunch of false advertisements
They’ll treat symptoms that you don’t even have
This is not a cure for the common cold
It’s just the best thing that they know your money will buy
And I’m sold! I’m sold out and I don’t have any plan to buy back in again
I’m not kidding, it’s a circle system
Spinning spitting pennies
At the many medicinal maladies that we’re faced with
Bigger than life, bigger than life
Now they’ll put plenty into this and that
And toss money at the fat cat
Rolling out the fully loaded sled
A hair lipped monument, circle what’s wrong with it
I just don’t suggest getting sick in America
Don’t dance the waltz unless your talk is chalk white, toned and tempered
Oh no, we invented the wheel