1-2-3 APPLE TREE

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Oh, when you call me weird names and make all kinds of weird faces
when you drive me along to all the stupidest places
you know it's not fair, but you know what you do
because you know how bad I like to be with you

...And then you're like, "David, it's like one, two, three"
as you're climbing barefoot on the apple tree
it is as sweet as me, and as good as new
and you know how bad I like to be with you

You should try to go to some place, honey,
where the weather is hot, and the music is funny
you should try down south, by the magic Bayou
and you will know how bad I like to be with you

It's like the better path, and it's a better way
if we never part, and if we never stray
if we know we have each other to hang on to
and if you know how bad I like to be with you

When I'm home alone, and when I'm traveling far,
when I'm riding my bike and when I'm driving in my car,
it could be England or it could be Peru
and you would know how bad I like to be with you

Well you know better than me on all kinds of topics
like what fruit is native, what fruit is exotic,
you know the right names for flowers and for animals, too
I hope you know how bad I like to be with you

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Well, you play the trumpet and I play drums
you smoke cigarettes and I chew gum,
you say we're different and I believe it's true
because you know how bad I like to be with you

It's not even an option,
it's not a matter of choice
I could say it with words
and I could say it with my voice
I could sing it in a song or play it on a kazoo
and you would know how bad I like to be with you

You say you dye your hair black since you were seventeen
and you say it goes well with your eyes so green
well, I'm losing my hair and my eyes are blue,
you know how bad I like to be with you

...And now you think you're puzzled,
and you don't understand me
well you can play me as easy as a DVD,
it's like solving a case with a single clue
to know how bad i like to be with you

You know I'll always like you no matter what
and if you get a little chubby,
and if you're a little too fat
if you worship Jesus when I am a Jew
then you will know how bad I like to be with you

...And you know how people shorten other people's names
to show their affection
like if you called me Ray, if my name was Raymond
well your name ain't Susan but I would call you Sue
to show you how bad I like to be with you

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