Dirty Office Bongos

I tried to answer the phone when you called
I feel ashamed that I put you off for this long
I know that you will forgive me but I can't
Started thinking it's better if I just forget

I don't know why I'm anxious
It's hard to say, I know I fucked up again
I don't mean to neglect an, an invitation
An open hand to pull me out from this pit
I don't want to disappoint again

I know that things changed when I left
I hope when we talk you'll say you understand

I hope you know that I've kept all the notes that you sent
It's hard to call home, you're waiting for days, dial and disconnect
Put off too long 'cause someday you'll be gone
And I won't notice, away in some state when I get the call

Seems I should grow
Replace me, a better family
He'll act his age
He'll know how to cope with what I've made

I know that things changed when I left
Pick apart why I get nervous
Try to force my faults to surface
I hope when we talk you'll understand
Try to change but I can't help it

I hope you know that I've kept all the notes that you sent
It's hard to call home, you're waiting for days, dial and disconnect
Put off too long 'cause someday you'll be gone
And I won't notice, away in some state when I get the call

I hope you know that I've kept all the notes that you sent
You've waited for days, dial and disconnect
I hope you know that I've kept all the notes that you sent
I've waited for days you're already gone

I wanted to notice
I wanted to know
But I can't change the way I am
It's harder to focus
My thoughts feel like static
You're gone and I wasn't there

I wanted to notice
I wanted to know
But I can't change the way I am
It's harder to focus
My thoughts feel like static
You're gone and I wasn't there