No Me Diga

[DANIELA]
Gorgeous!

[CARLA]
Linda!

[CARLA/DANIELA]
Tell me something I don’t know!

[VANESSA]
Vieja!

[DANIELA]
Sucia!

[CARLA]
Cabrona!

[CARLA/VANESSA/DANIELA]
Tell me something I don’t know!

[CARLA]
A little off the top!

[DANIELA]
A little off the side!

[NINA]
A little bit of news you’ve heard around the barrio!

[ALL]
Tell me something I don’t know!

[DANIELA]
Bueno
You didn’t hear it from me!
But some little birdie told me
Usnavi had sex with Yolanda!

[NINA/CARLA]
No me diga!

[VANESSA]
Ay, no! He’d never go out with a skank like that!
Please tell me you’re joking!

[DANIELA]
Okay!
Just wanted to see what you’d say!

[CARLA, spoken]
Oh ho, Dani!

[CARLA/NINA/DANIELA]
Tell me something I don’t know!
Mmm-hmm-mmm

[VANESSA, spoken]
What? I don’t care!

[ALL]
Ay, bendito!

[DANIELA]
So, Nina, I hear you been talking to Benny

[NINA]
And what do you hear?

[DANIELA]
I hear plenty!
They say he’s got quite a big… Taxi!

[CARLA/VANESSA]
No me diga!

[NINA]
Okay! I don’t wanna know where you heard all that!

[CARLA]
I don’t think I know what you mean

[DANIELA]
Carla! He’s packing a stretch limousine!

[VANESSA/DANIELA/NINA]
Tell me something I don’t know!

[CARLA]
Long as he keeps it clean!

[NINA/VANESSA/DANIELA]
Ay dios mio!

[DANIELA]
Nina, seriously, we knew you’d be the one to make it out!

[VANESSA]
I bet you impressed them all out west
You were always the best, no doubt!

[CARLA]
We want front row seats to your graduation—

[DANIELA]
They’ll call your name—

[DANIELA/CARLA/VANESSA]
And we’ll scream and shout!

[They cheer]

[NINA, spoken]
You guys, I dropped out. ​

[DANIELA/CARLA/VANESSA, spoken]
No me diga?!

[NINA, spoken]
I should go. ​

[DANIELA, spoken]
Well, that’s a shitty piece of news. ​

[CARLA, spoken]
That girl never quit anything. ​

[VANESSA, spoken]
What the hell happened?

[DANIELA]
I don’t know

[DANIELA/CARLA]
I don’t know

[DANIELA]
I don’t know

[CARLA/VANESSA]
Tell me something I don’t know!

[ALL]
Qué sé yo?