I'm a Bad, Bad Man

I'm honored, I'm flattered
This greeting really mattered
This welcome is grand but I'm really concerned
I like your attention
But this I have to mention
You're playing with fire and you're apt to get burned

There's a girl in Tennessee
Who's sorry she met up with me
Can't go back to Tennessee
I'm a bad, bad man

There's a girl in Omaha
But I ran faster than her pa
Can't go back to Omaha
I'm a bad, bad man

There's a girl in Wyoming
And they're combing Wyoming
To find the man in white
Who was out with her that night

There's a girl in Arkansas
The sheriff is her brother-in-law
Can't go back to Arkansas
I'm a bad, bad man

You're making too much fuss
For we don't give a tinker's cuss
We've been out, yes, each of us
With a bad, bad man

We've been chasing up and down
That other show has just left town
And the one who played the clown
Was a bad, bad man

You may love us and leave us
But the parting won't grieve us
We'll turn the other cheek
When the minstrels come next week

When the show folks come to call
A girl may slip but she won't fall
We'll give some but won't give all
To a bad, bad man

For years I have yearned to
Play towns I could return to
And "this may be it" from the way that you speak
I'm glad you're not frightened
The atmosphere has brightened
And now let's make plans for a wonderful week

Monday when my show is done
I'll teach you how to shoot a gun
You may find it lots of fun
With a bad, bad man

Tuesday there's no matinee
But I'll be in my tent all day
You can come around and play
With a bad, bad man

Send your mothers on Wednesday
Because Wednesday's old hens' day
But Thursday is sublime
I'll have lots of open time

Friday night will be the test
If Saturday you're still my guest
Sunday you can come and rest
With a bad, bad man

I'm enlightened but frightened
Tho' my interest you've heightened
It might turn out to be
That you're much too much for me

So I'll go back to my tent
And someday when you're old and bent
Think of hours you might have spent
With a bad, bad man