What Chance Have I With Love?

Love is beautiful, love is swell
Love is as sweet as a nut
Love is grander than tongue can tell
Love is remarkable but

Look at what it did to Romeo
It dealt poor Romey an awful blow
If love could do that to Romeo
What chance have I with love?

Look at what it did to Anthony
It made a "mark" out of Anthony
If love could do that to Anthony
What chance have I with love?

Look at what it did to Samson
'Til he lost his hair he was brave
If a haircut could weaken Samson
They could murder me with a shave

Louie Number Fifteen, King of France
They say he suffered with each romance
If love kicked him in the royal pants
What chance have I an ordinary guy
What chance have I with love?

Look at what it did to Adam
From that bite he could not escape
If an apple could finish Adam
They could knock me off with a grape

Miss Lucrezia Borgia, deep in sin
She poisoned her lovers when they dropped in
If they wound up with a Mickey Finn
What chance have I an ordinary guy
What chance have I with love?

Look what love did for Reno
It put Reno on the map
When a woman goes to Reno
It's because some man is a sap

Tommy Manville's love is not returned
He sells asbestos and he has learned
That with asbestos he still gets burned
What chance have I an ordinary guy
What chance have I with love?

Look at what it did to Bonaparte
He lost his head when he lost his heart
If he kicked over the apple cart
What chance have I an ordinary guy
What chance have I with love?