The Spiral

[Verse 1]

Ever had days where you don't wanna wake up?
Ever thought you and life should go and break up?
Ever been so low that you start to believe-
That you'd be much happier livin' in your dreams?
I have. Many moments where I wish I was in bed
Walkin' 'round with a black cloud over my head
If you've had moments where you wish you weren't alive
Then my friend, you've been through how I feel at times

I know I've got my friends and family and they all love me
But I don't wanna open up in case they start to judge me
Tryin' to find a reason being on this Earth to celebrate
While I'm busy having arguments with my mental state
Like "I don't get it Jack, why do you live like this every day?
All you have to do is tell your family that you feel this way!
But you'll deny it to yourself and won't do that, will you?!
You'll still soldier on until your depression kills you!"

[Hook]

I can only beg of you to bring me back to life
‘Cause sometimes I don’t feel like I’m alive
What must I do to break out this cycle?
Why am I sinking deeper into the spiral?

[Verse 2]

I see the world unclear through invisible tears
Still got friends on Facebook that I haven't spoken to in years!
Even with these beats, and lyrics that I release unto
I feel like a disappointment, when I have no reason to!
Maybe it's 'cause I'm still depressed over my friend dying
Or maybe it's 'cause I can't handle life intensifying!
Yeah, I know I should let it go & move on
But at times, I wanna cut myself like a coupon

Just so I know that I'm still alive and breathing
And keep in mind that I'm a man while my skin is bleeding
I did cut myself once back in 2017
During an episode that was so unforeseen
I felt so low, dragged a knife against my palm
Made myself bleed, don’t know how I was so calm
Only stopped when I felt that familiar sting
Tryin' to ignore the urge to repeat that silly thing

[Hook]

[Verse 3]

But nothing compares to the darkest days
Where my depression hits me in the hardest ways
Where my mood's so low and my spirit's so broke
I feel my happy ending's on the end of a rope
I know too well that the pain won't stop once I'm gone
It would only increase and then be passed on
To my friends and family, them mourning at the tragedy
So I keep on moving on, despite my mental agony

But it's only a matter of time until my heart again breaks
There's only so much in the world that a man can take
It can hit at any time, while I'm out or at home
I can never let the hurt out, 'less I'm all alone!
It's so lonely at the top, it's horrifying to look below
Strugglin' to find myself the highs when I'm feelin' low!
So I can only be honest when I spit these richest rhymes;
I'm always feeling happy, that's my biggest lie

[Hook] (X2)