If I Only Had a Brain

See, I can't scare anybody.
They come from miles around
To laugh in my face and eat in my field.

Said a scarecrow swinging on a pole,
To some blackbirds sittin' on a fence,
"Oh, the Lord gave me a soul,
But, forgot to give me common sense."

Said the blackbirds, "Well, well, well.
What the thunder would you do with common sense?"
Said the scarecrow,"Would be pleasin'
just to reason out the reason
of the wishes and the whyness and the whence"

If I had an once of common sense...
(If he had an ounce of common sense)

(Well, what would you do Scarecrow?")

I would while away the hours
Conferin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.

I'd unravel every riddle,
For every individle,
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts I'd be thinkin',
I could be another Lincoln,
If I only had a brain.

Oh I-- could tell you why,
The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things I never thought before,
Then I'd sit-- and think some more.

I would not be just a nothin',
my head all full of stuffin',
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry,
Life would be a dingle derry,
If I only had a brain.

If I only had a brain--
(If he only had a brain.)

I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things I never thought before
And then I'd sit-- and think some more.

Ya, it would be kind of pleasin'
To reason out the reason,
for the things I can't explain.
Then perhaps I'd deserve you,
and be even worthy of you,
If I only had a brain.

I could dance and by merry,
Life would be a dingle derry,
If I only had a brain.

If I only had a brain.