Lost in Thought (feat. Bbae)

See, I ain't with that the bull, if you on, you on
I see a beat I'mma eat 'til I'm full, and that's on God
Big blonde, a big guest, been puffing, big chest
Been chasing some big checks
But on the low, a bit depressed
I mean damn, it's been that type of year
But seasons change, so I'mma wipe that clear
Smooth sailing? Nah, I don't dock that pier
I live for the storms, that's just how I steer
But for real, this music is like the blunts I smoke
With how much I wrote
Scribbles starting to feel like a black coat
Etched word by word right onto my throat
'Til they all spill out or I choke, man
Just breathe, I got the soul of many emcees
See, I speak truth like I'm walking on seas
Indeed, these oceans only come up to my knees
So please leave if you ain't ready to go deep
This a deep dive, I been clean most my life
Hit a dark spot now, I'm always looking for my next light
My next high, but I been going so fast I might
Derail this train, this path only go one way
A split duality between the water and flame
I drink truth but it evaporates and hits my brain
All twisted, sadistic thoughts prevail
So many murders in mind, I think I'm going to Hell
But hell, he who lives, loves, 'til love's lost
Shit, I knew the cost, but I still ran the gauntlet
Heart so empty, now it's haunted
Ghosts of girls past got me despondent
The sex was good, but love's what I wanted
'Til I got it, and realized I'm only happy when I'm on it
So if I'm honest, I can find true bliss in one breath
So I'mma smoke this 'til death, y'all can call me obsessed
But I'mma keep on catching vibes through my neck, so place your bets
I'm living life like I got bulletproof vests
So will I stand the tests of time?
I don't know, but the flow divine
So I'mma do me, and claim what's mine
It's BBAE

So many days I have to wonder if this is truly what I'm meant to do
Or if I misconstrue every thing that I've ever known
It's hard trying to figure your way through life with a broken brain
Broken heart to match, but I'm not done, no game, set, match
So light the match so I can spit my flame, say my peace, 'til I'm deceased
But until that point in time I'll stick to rhyme, this is my reason
And it looks like summer is my season
Say that I'm fake as shit? Fuck off, you cretin
I've been starved all my life, it's time to get eating, get even
This is my therapy so I kill it with meaning
And when the time finally comes for me to cross over
Know I lived with meaning, it's Jay