Having Been Is No Way to Be

Oh I was naive
My shoes were untied
In heaven everything is just fine
But the phones are dead
And so is the light
And so are you
And honey so am I
But the earth still turns
For the unconcerned
Days pass below like train windows
I was a sapling tree
The birds looked like me
Oh I begged my nerves to kick me something new

From time to time
I would watch you sleep
Oh, I wonder how much freedom we can dream

And I'm sorry when you wake up to me
I just got tired
Shining steady like a spider web's an empty stage
Now the people say
What drugs did you take?
And why don't you start taking them again?
But they're not my friends
And if I was dead
What difference would it ever make to them?

If I got high
From time to time
Oh I wonder how much freedom you would need
And I'd be sorry when you wake to me

I'm reaching out to you
I'm writing all the time
I don't see deep but I see far and wide
I see dead trees
But the roots have leaves
Just because I can't describe it doesn't mean I shouldn't try
To untwist the knife
To unmake my mind
Having been is no way to be alive

And I'm alive
When I watch you sleep
I wonder how much freedom we need
And I'm here
When you wake up to me
And I'm still here
When you wake up to me