Just A Lot On My Mind

(You better kill me today, 'cause I ain't gon' die tomorrow
You gotta kill me now, right now)

(Verse 1)
Flashbacks to Michigan, dawg
Couldn’t tell you bout the energy I’m dealing with, dawg
No ice in the bourbon but I’m sipping it, dawg
Can’t pinpoint the growth but I’m different, dawg
I felt like a stranger in my own home back in high school
No confidence to talk to women that I might pull
Just a lot of living with my thoughts, no therapist
Two parents with a handful of different marriages
All family drama and no one held accountable
Generational curses feeling unstoppable
Never going home 'cause I’m happy with my life here
Lately I been looking on the other side of my fears
Black demons used weigh me down in my nightmares
It’s never sunny ‘round town in my nightmares

(Verse 2)
Flashbacks to Michigan, dawg
I don’t know what kinda fantasy I’m living in, dawg
Every old friend I used to have was pissing me off
Make sure to keep distance, niggas fishy and all
And I cut my old hoes off, and let em know
Everything we had is said and done, just let it go
I am not the same nigga that you ever used know
When I’m in my room watching Wayans Brothers getting blowed
Thinking of my childhood memories and how I’ve grown

(Verse 3)
Flashbacks to living in hell
2018 I had a dream of killing myself
2015 is when I started feeling myself
2020 found purpose I’m rebuilding myself
Only thing niggas ever taught me is what not to do
Me being not as good as you is not probable
You don’t gotta like what I’m saying, this is gospel though
I don’t wanna have my baby born in the hospital
I just wanna make some jazz music on the vibraphone
Why my favorite therapist is still a fuckin' microphone

(Outro)
And I still talk to god in my sleep
I hope when my life is over I don’t have to repeat