Cussin' Island
Hello, kiddies no, it's not Mr rogers
It's Jimmy, with a little tale
Hmm, maybe you'll like this
I know, I never should have
Written this song i know
I'm in trouble if your kids sing along
I hope you don't misconstrue
This could be my Waterloo if you do
And I know the same thing could happen to you
Cruisin' down the coast of
Panama with my kids
Snorkelin' with the stingrays
'cudas and the squids
Things were goin' way too well
All of a sudden heaven turned into hell
If you dare to venture out on the ocean
It's unavoidable to face some commotion
My kids were fightin' on the foredeck
What the hell would Huck Finn do?
Hey, young lady did I just hear you call
Your brother a stupid little shit?
You know you're not allowed
To use those words
Now apologize lickety split
That's why I'm takin' you to Cussin' Island
Headin' this boat south
I think you should know
That's where I met Cousteau
And we will work on your potty mouth
And when we get to Cussin' Island
I'm gonna drop you on the beach
Anchor way out, get ready for the bout
And watch you exercise your freedom of speech
At first they looked a
Little frightened and dismayed
Just like those weird contestants
On Naked and Afraid it started with a smirk
Then the dirty words came gushin'
I saw dolphins swimmin' by
Even they were blushin'
I stood there on the bow
Feelin' like a hypocrite
As they fired unholy salvos
Like a German Messerschmitt
And they cussed horseflies, homework
Taliban and Barney
Piano lessons, etiquette sessions
Wakin' up too early
Makin' beds, takin' meds
Invasion of our space
They kept it up until they both
Turned blue in the face
World on our shoulders feelin' like boulders
We're tired, please give us a hand
This is some weird shit
Cussin' ain't worth it
Let's bury those words in the sand
Downwind, I could hear every
Word loud and clear
Having second thoughts of bringin' them here
It was just a split second decision
Their repertoire was never envisioned
Past time to put an exit plan into gear
Time flies
Now all my little pirates are grown
Soon they'll be raisin' buccaneers
Of their own
Do I think they learned a lesson?
Or was it just a silly ass show?
Well, the answer is part of the problem
The simple truth, fuck no
That's why we have to have Cussin' Island
Our rally point and rendezvous
I've sailed many a mile
Collected millions of smiles
And I know the same thing could happen to you
That's right, it could happen to you
And you know where it could happen to you?
Cussin' Island