Jme and the Fox

So man gets out of bed, goes downstairs
Jumps
In the car, drives to Sainsburys car park
Just to hear my new tune with Bass!

I'm in the empty carpark, playing music loud
Just minding
My own business im parked facing a wall
I'm the corner of the carpark

Bass pumping
Jacking up the tune bare times coz I'm gassed

Sipping on the bottle of water that I
Left in my cup holder from
Last nights Mc ds, I didn't realise
How much I had drank, i needed to Pee

So I get out to go pee
Nobody is around so I leave the key in
The ignition because it keeps
The music playing

And most importantly it keeps the BASS
BOX powered up and pumping

So I'm pissing in a bush, bopping my head
Then I hear a rustle i think, rah
I might be pissing on a hedgehog

I move my piss beam to the
Left a little not to dusturb
The ting then I hear another rustle
Now I'm thinking mad thoughts, like… snakes

Or crocodiles or sumfin so I think
Rags there's nobody in this
Carpark ima move the
Piss beam all the way to the wall

So I'm 60% through pissing
And I have moved the target spot to the wall
And I'm still humming and bopping to the tune

Then the tune stops
Mid tune not at the end so
I'm waiting for my phone to
Ring coz that's all it could
Be there's no other explanation

But no, I start to hear jodeci full blast
Slow jams and my car door slams shut so I
Run to the passenger door and pull the handle
Piss is still dripping but forget about
That for a second the passenger
Door is locked and I knew this
Already i didn't unlock it

So I scoot round the front to the
Driver door at record speed a bit
Of piss goes on the bonnet but
Forget about that for a second

I open the driver door, and stop the music
And turn the ignition off so I can listen
And think clearly in the dead silence

I can hear the rustle again
But it's from inside the car now
I'm scared a bit but
I'm not showing it because I
Want to remain in control

I take the key out of the ignition
And put it in my pocket
I'm making sure I remember the important
Things in all this commotion

I open the rear driver side door
And I walk round the
Other side and open the other
Two doors as well
And stand back from the car

I look up at the windows above
Sainsburys to see if anyone's looking
Out from the offices to the
Carpark just to feel safer, but nope

The piss has stopped dripping now and
I zip up my jeans

Then I hear the rustle again
So I say "yo man?" Loud and immediately
Think it was stupid to do so

I then open the boot and a
Fox jumps out and pushes
Me to the floor and says
"you're such a doughnut fam"

I'm in shock

But I still manage to roll over and
Pin him down and I'm thinking
I'm so lucky I zipped up when I did

I jumped up and slammed all the
Doors and locked the car
The fox jumped on the roof and looked me in
The eye as I shut the last door

I ran into the park nearby and hid in
The public toilets and sent these tweets
I'm going back out now

I could see the car through the gap
In the fence the whole time
The fox was circling it now he's on the
Bench he knew I'd have to return

He's just looking at me
Like foxes always fucking do i
Asked him what he
Wants and he said "I'm not a 'He' cuz"

I'm sure Brenda from Sainsburys works
In the office on Saturdays
Ima try and make as much noise as possible
So she comes out… or calls feds

Coz I'm not a snitch innit

The fox is going to the
Bush where I was pissing
I'm thinking of unlocking my
Car and driving off
But I need him to get far enough

He's fucking scratched up my car! The
Whole driver side is fucked!
I didn't see him do that
From the toilets? Fuck

I ain't a snitch but there's CCTV in
This carpark ima threaten him with
Legal action I don't care i ain't
Paying for no fucking re spray

I walked over and said bruv
The fox said "SHUTUP, you can't call
Feds" I said who said ima
Call Feds, he said "SHUTUP, you

Then he fucking drags a body out
From the bush, he's dragging it
All I can see is a hand

He dragged body from the bush
It's Brenda he fucking killed
Brenda she is definitely
Dead she's not even smiling she always smiles

He said I can't call Feds, because I pissed
On Brenda and he's just a fox
Who are they going to believe

He said "what are u doing here?" I said
I came to play music but before
I could finish he shouts "WHY ARE YOU
HERE?!" Im so baffed right now

I can't believe he killed Brenda man

I've started crying, I can't hold it back
The fox tilts his head to the left and said
"be a man" so I charged at him

I kicked him in his chest
Neck area and punched him
In the nose i don't know what else to do
It's hard to fight a fox i'm so angry

Nothings going to bring Brenda
Back i dragged her
To the middle of the carpark &
Went to get my car out the corner
But he's stood In my way

I'm breathing heavily & tears
Are streaming down
My face and merging with bogeys
Veins are popping out my neck I
KNOW he's scared right now

He's trying to reason with me
I'm not hearing it
I can't believe Brenda isn't smiling

My fists are clenched, I'm playing out
The fight in my mind
I've decided I'm going to punch
Him repeatedly in the side, the skinny bit

Then I'm gonna grab his tail and dangle
Him while I toe punt his jaw

He's pulled out a knife
Change of plans and he's handing me
A Samsung galaxy s3 and saying
"speak to them" …all I want is to get my car

I'm on his phone now, to the ambulance
I told them about Brenda and to bring help i
Hope they understand what I mean by help

I threw his phone back to him, but I threw it
Bent so he'll have to move to get it
Then I can get my car but he didn't move

He lunged at me and sliced
My thigh i'm bleeding
Fucking hell I'm Bleeding i swear there's
A major artery in your thigh

I forgotten my fight plan
I'm screaming though and swinging
Everywhere i hit him
A couple times but he's just laughing

The ambulance need to get here now
I'm bleeding man all I
Can think of is Brenda she got the worst deal

Me and the fox are walking
In circles around Brenda, i
Know he wants to pounce again
I'm ready for him
I'm fucking bleeding though

I can hear sirens
The British emergency response team do
Such a great job I
Commend them i need to fuck
This fox up though

Sirens are getting louder
I reversed the direction
Of the Circle we're walking in
I have control ima distract him
And grab his tail

Forgive me god but I kicked
Brenda in the face
It was the Only way I could distract him
He was so shocked eyes wide open

Then I jumped over her and elbowed
Him in his lower back
The skinny bit he's reeling in pain it
Felt so good i head locked him

His breath stinks i squeezed the headlock
Tight and whispered in his ear
"nobody calls me a doughnut bruv"
Then I twisted his neck

I'm still crying

I feel faint, I can't keep tweeting
The ambulance and police are here
They're rushing to me they need
To go to Brenda first, i'm so tired

The last bit of piss leaked out
I'm in the ambulance now
I can't believe Brenda
Isn't smiling and my car is scratched

#RipBrenda

Anyone wanna buy a Samsung S3 with
A cracked screen, holla me later, £60