Spend One Night With An Old Guy

Spend one night with an old guy
And you'll never go back to the boys
Spend one night with an old guy
Let the little boys go play with their toys

I'm talkin' bout a man who can slow down
Turn your hot flashes into chills
You might need a break from his passion
You might wanna hide his little pills
But dont'cha worry 'bout your reputation
He'll never tell how you drove him insane
Cause he won't remember the things that you did
Aw hell, he won't remember your name

He'll play Johnny Mathis on his eight track
His lava lamp'll glow all through the night
He'll whisper you're the prettiest
Girl in the world
Course, he's prob'ly losin' his sight
But who cares if it makes you feel special
There's one more surprise still ahead
You're never gonna hafta meet his parents
There's a really good chance they're dead

Now you won't find a guy more grateful
I mean it's not like they're beatin' down his door
Next mornin' he'll have no job to dash off to
So he can stick around and fix that cracked window
Or that squeaky kitchen cabinet door
Or glue that wobbly chair
Or anything else around the house
That needs some tender lovin' care
You'll have a dandy, randy handyman
And you'll never go back to the boys
You'll have a dandy, randy handyman
And you'll never go back to the boys